Episode 1; Shroom Dream
Sora; So, this game marks an allegiance between Square Enix and Disney, right?
Riku; Yeah, pretty much
Kairi; Kinda strange, huh?
Sora; Yup
Riku; Yup
Kairi; Yup
Wakka; Mm-hm
Acelegin;NOW TO BEGIN THE EPISODE (HOORAY FOR THE OBLIGITORY KING OF THE HILL REFERANCE!!)
Sora awakens in pitch blackness, standing on some kind of stained glass pillar or something
Sora; Whoa, Where am I? I need to lay off the shrooms
Voice; Sora!!
Sora; WTF? Who the crap said that?
Voice; It is unknown as to who I am! Some believe I am Ansem, Seeker of Darkness. Some believe that I am Kingdom Hearts. And a bunch of people believe that you're on acid.
Sora; Shrooms actually. So why am I here?
A staff, a sheild, and a sword magically appear
Voice; You must choose a weapon to determine your beginning stats!
Sora; My what now?
Voice; This is a video game you moron, you need stats.
Sora; Okay, I pick the sword.
Voice; Common choice. Now you must abandon one.
Sora; I'll ditch the sheild.
Voice; Wha? Why?
Sora; because I wanna keep the staff so I can use magic.
Voice; You'll still be able to use magic, it just won't be as powerful.
Sora; Screw you man, I want my goddamn magic.
Voice; But the shield represents protecting your friends and stuff.
Sora; Shut... the hell up... You fuzzbag...
Acelegin; credit for that line goes to Vegeta3968 and MasakoX
Voice; Fine, be that way. Now I will teach you to walk and swing your sword and open boxes and stuff.
Sora; How hard can that be?
A little black creature appears
Voice; Here, kill this thing.
Sora; Why, it hasn't done me any harm, yet. I mean, it's creepy, but that doesn't- OHMYGODITSCRATCHEDME!!SONOFAB@&CH!!
Sora kills it
Sora; Great, now what?
Voice; Now, you will meet 3 comic relief characters who serve no purpose to the storyline!
Sora appears in the destiny Islands and sees Tidus, Wakka and Selphie
Sora; Okay, how did I get here?
Voice; The door will not open just yet. Answer their questions so that I may learn more about you.
Sora; What's this about a door? You know what, never mind, I have a wierd feeling your just gonna leave me hanging.
Selphie; What's most important to you? Being #1, Friendship, or your prized possessions?
Sora; I didn't see cheese anywhere on that list. Whatever, I'll go with friendship since the voice in my head got on my case about giving up the sheild.
Tidus; What are you afraid of? Getting old, Being different, or being indesisive?
Sora; Getting old. Old people are weird.
Acelegin; This is not my personal opinion. Old people rule!!
Wakka; Whadda you want outta life? To see rare sights, Broaden your horizens, or be strong?
Sora; I wanna pet Monkey, but those are illegal in most places so I pick being strong. Strength is cool.
Voice; The day you will open the door is near!
Sora is back in the stained glass place.
Sora; Great, more scenary changing.
Voice; Fight some more of the little monster thingies and then operate this here save point
Sora; I wish real life had save points. That way when I say something awkward to kairi I can restart and take it back
Voice; Now walk up ths magical staircase and face a giant monster.
Sora; Yes, Mr. creepy voice. I will follow you to my imminent demise
Voice; The closer you get to the light, the bigger your shadow becomes
Sora's shadow turns into a giant Heartless
Sora; Gah! What the hell is that?
Voice; It is your shadow. Apparently. Lock onto his hands. Those are a weak point.
Sora; So let me get this straight. This thing will die if I hit it's hands a bunch of times?
Voice; Precisely!
Sora; ...I believe you.
Sora fights the monster, and then his sword randomly disapears and Sora get's surrounded by darkness
Voice; Don't be afraid. You hold the mightiest weapon of all. So don't forget: You are the one who will open the door.
Sora; What door!? Why do you keep talking about a door!? What the f@&k is going on here? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Acelegin; To be continued. I hope you enjoyed this crap.
Episode 2; DinkyFlrag
Sora; Hey Riku, how many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?
Riku; Beats me.
Sora; God dammit Riku, we've been over this a million times. I'm making a reference to "A Goofy Movie". The answer is three and a half.
Axel; Got it memorized?
Acelegin; And now for the actual episode.
Sora wakes up in the Destiny Islands to see Kairi standing over him.
Kairi; Sora you lazy bum. Were you having anothing wet dream about me and Selphie?
Sora; No, but that would be sweet.
Kairi; What?
Sora; Sh@&! Umm, nothing. (whispering) I could really use one of those save points right about now.
Riku; Am I the only one working on the raft?
Sora; Hey Riku, not for nothing but don't we have boats? Why do we need a raft?
Riku; Take your logic and get the hell out!
Kairi; Wanna have a race?
Sora; No.
Kairi; But-
Sora; NO!
Riku; Come on, we've got sh@* to do.
Kairi; Okay Sora, I need you to get 2 logs, 1 cloth, and a rope.
Sora; Okay. While I'm at it, I'm gonna fight the comic relief characters so that I can gain some experience points so that I don't epicly fail later on.
one hour of gaming later
Sora; Hey, Riku! I finished all my stuff and fought the other guys over and over again. Wanna fight?
Riku; Okay, this one decides the champion.
Sora beats Riku. .....What? Is that hard to believe? I've done it before. It's not that hard. Who asked you anyway?
Sora; Yeah! Now the scores 1 to 0!
Riku; Don't any of out previous fights count for something?
Sora; Nope.
Later, The three adolescent friends meet on the little island with the bridge and the paopu tree. You know the one I'm talking about.
Sora; So....... What are we supposed to be talking about again?
Riku; Don't tell me Acelegin forgot about this conversation.
Kairi; First of all, quit breaking the fourth wall. Second of all, we're supposed to be discussing why we're going on this journey.
Sora; Oh yeah, it's because Kairi came to this Island from a different world which made me and Riku start thinking about going to other worlds which gave us the idea to build a raft which for some reason took us years upon years to complete.
Riku; Exactly.
Sora and the others get up to go home
Riku; Hey, Sora, wait a minute. I got something for you.
Riku gives Sora a paopu fruit.
Sora; Um, Riku, The tree's right there. I could've just got one myself.
Riku; You've heard the legend, right? If two people share one, their destinies become intertwined.
Sora; So you're telling me that a fruit has the power to alter destiny?
Riku; Come on, you know you wanna try it.
Sora; I already tried it. With you. Remember? Back when we were young and experimental.
Riku; You swore you would never speak of that! And I meant "Try it with a cretain red haired girl that we both have a crush on".
Sora; Kirsten Dunst?
Riku; I mean Kairi.
Sora; You bastard. Get over here so I can hit you!
Sora drops his paopu fruit and chases Riku.
The next day
Riku; Hey Sora, we still need a captain.
Sora; Shouldn't we have decided on a captain when we first came up with the idea of the raft?
Riku; Yeah, but apparently the writers didn't think of that. Anyway, If I was captain, I'd name the raft "Highwind".
Sora; I'd name it "DinkyFlrag"
Riku; ...Okaaaaaaay
Kairi; Why don't you have a race to decide?
Riku; What is it with you and races?
Sora; Why does it matter?
Riku; Because the outcome of the race determines the name of your default Gummi Ship.
Sora; Ok. So, if I win, I'll be captain, and if you win-
Riku; I get to share a paopu fruit with Kairi.
Sora; Say what now?
Riku; Agreed? Winner gets to share a paopu fruit with Kairi.
Sora; Are you talking about the one I dropped in the ocean the other day?
Riku; We can get another one can't we?
Sora; Bad news: I checked the tree this morning. All the fruits were gone. F@&king gardeners.
Riku; Oh well. I've got more at my house.
Sora and Riku race, and Sora wins
Sora; Yeah! Now the scores 2 to 0.
Riku; By the way, I was kidding about the paopu thing.
Sora; You dick. By the way, Couldn't we just split a fruit between the three of us so that all our destinies will become intertwined?
Riku; Hmm, I never thought of that.
Kairi; Hey Sora, I need you to get food for the journey.
Sora; Okay. What do we need?
Kairi; We need 3 mushrooms, 2 coconuts, 3 fish, a seagull egg-
Sora; Whoawhoawhoawhoawait! A seagull egg? Are you insane? Do you have any idea what a seagull would do to me if I tryed to steal one of it's eggs?
Kairi; Do as I command, slave!
Sora; Yes ma'am.
Kairi; I also need you to fill this canteen with water that's not from the ocean.
Sora; Okay.
Sora gets all the stuff and then decides to talk to the comic relief characters.
Tidus; You won't be able to beat Riku. Me, Selphie and Wakka once fought him 3 to 1 and he whooped us.
Sora; No offense, but you guys are horrible fighters. And I kinda beat him yesterday.
Selphie; Have you heard about the paopu fruit? It's pretty romantic. I should try it sometime.
Sora; You can try it right now with me sweet cheeks.
Selphie; What?
Sora; Nothing.
Wakka; ...Yeah, Acelegin completely forgot what I'm supposed to say.
Sora; Okay, guess I'll return to Kairi then.
Sora goes and talks to Kairi
Kairi; I'm making a magic charm out of seashells which is supposed to ensure a safe voyage and later becomes a powerful keychain that you can attach to the keyblade you will soon get. But enough of that. Where's the stuff?
Sora; Where's the munny?
Kairi; Give me the stuff, and I'll give you the munny.
Sora; You won't see any stuff until I see some munny.
Kairi; SHOWMETHEFRAKKINGSTUFF!!
Sora; Okay, okay, no need to PMS about this. Here you go.
Kairi; Okay, everything seems to be in order here. Wait a minute. Sora, when I said mushrooms, I wasn't talking about the hallucinogenic kind. Now go get some real mushrooms.
Sora goes and gets 2 mushrooms, than goes into a cave to find the third one. A cave seems like a wierd place to find a mushroom, but whatever, I didn't make the game so who am I to judge. So Sora finds the mushroom and than looks at a crappy chalk drawing of him and Kairi which they appently drew when they were kids. Sora gets bored and decides to draw himself feeding Kairi a paopu fruit.
Random Cloaked Entity; This world has been connected.
Sora; Gah! Where the hell did you come from?
Random Cloaked Entity; Tied to the darkness.
Sora; Are you the voice in my head from that dream I had?
Random Cloaked Entity; Soon to be completely eclipsed.
Sora; I'm gonna call the cops. Or whatever kind of authority we have on these Islands.
Random Cloaked Entity; I have come to take a gander at this oddly placed door.
Sora; Are you a pedophile?
Random Cloaked Entity; You understand so little.
Sora; What the hell are you talking about?
Random Claoked Entity; One who knows nothing can understand nothing.
Sora; Leave me alone you creepy guy whose identity has not been confirmed thus far.
Random Cloaked Entity; Goodbye you massive prick.
The Random Cloaked Entity disappears.
Sora; Okay. That was kind of weird. I'm gonna call it a day.
later on, Sora is in his room staring at the ceiling when a storm begins to brew outside
Sora; Tomorrows the big day. Wait a minute, there's a storm! I need to jump out the window, go to the mini-island and protect the raft without telling my mom where the hell I'm going!
Sora's Mom; Sora! Dinner's ready! Sora! Sora!? God dammit, did he jump out the window again? I really need to consider putting bars on that thing.
Sora gets to the Island on his boat and notices two other boats there.
Sora; Those are Riku and Kairi's boats! I recognize them even though all the boats here look exactly the same. They must have come here to protect the raft too. Which means that I'm of the hook! Yay!
A bunch of black creatures randomly appear.
Sora; Crap, those are the things from my dream. But my wooden sword should help me.
Sora trys to hit one.
Sora; Okay, apparently they're immune to wood for some reason. Plan B.
Sora runs past them and gets to the Paopu island.
Sora; Riku, is that you?
Riku; The darkness is consuming the world, but I'm not afraid of it so I'm going to let it absorb me and hope It takes me somewhere where I won't die a painful death.
Sora; But what about Kairi?
Riku; She's coming with us, don't worry. Now take my hand.
Sora; I instantly believe you even though this is totally suicidal.
Sora tries to take Riku's hand, but Riku gets pulled into darkness and there's a bright light and a sword shaped like a key appears in Sora's hand
Voice; Keyblade, Keyblade, KEYBLADE!!
Sora; Okay, I get it, It's a keyblade. Jeez, I thought I got rid of you when I woke up from that trippy ass dream.
Voice; Nope, I'm gonna follow you around wherever you go.
Sora; Sh@&.
Sora goes to the cave, which now has a door in front of it for some reason. Sora goes in and sees Kairi acting like a zombie for some reason.
Sora; Kairi, come on! I can't afford to loose my love interest!
Kairi; So...ra...
Suddenly, the door in the back of the room flies open and a burst of air blows Kairi toward Sora. Sora tries to catch her, but she randomly dissapears. Then Sora get's blown away and wakes up on some kinda floating island with the Giant Heartless from his dream standing over him.
Sora; Okay, no need to panic, this is probably just another shroom nightmare.
The heartless hits Sora.
Sora; OW! That didn't feel much like a dream. Okay, I just need to remember what the voice in my head told me. "Aim for the hands".
Sora fights the thing and then they both get sucked into some kind of big dark portal thingy.
Sora; AHHH! Thins is really freaking me out! At least my sword didn't disapear this this time! AHHHH!!!!
Acelegin; My next episode will feature disney castle, so stay tuned. Also, I apologize for the coprius length of this episode. Thank you, and good night.
Episode 3; Sugar Packets
Xemnas; Okay everyone, I'd like to introduce our newest member. Number XII, Larxene. Make yourself at home and enjoy your time with organisation XIII!
Larxene; Why do you call us 13 when there's only 12 of us right now?
Marluxia; SHH! Xemnas doesn't like to be reminded of what happened to Mathaxsan.
Axel; Got it memorized?
Xemnas; (whimpering) She was my best friend! WAHHH!
Acelegin; Now for the episode. And for those of you who were wondering, Mathaxsan's original name was Samantha.
Donald walks through Disney Castle and approaches a massive door. Seriously. This door is F@&king huge! Anyway, Donald knocks on it and a small part of the door opens. Donald enters and walks over to the thrown.
Donald; Hello your majesty, It's good to see you this morn- Holy crap, no ones there! I need glasses, because from all the way over there I thought I could see somebody.
Pluto comes out from behind the chair holding a letter with a Mickey Mouse sign on it. Donald takes the letter, reads it, and runs screaming out the door. Donald then finds Goofy sleeping in the courtyard.
Donald; Goofy! Wake up! This is important!
Goofy; *snore*
Donald; Seriously, this is a matter of life and death!
Goofy; *snore*
Donald strikes Goofy with a lightning bolt
Goofy; YEOUCH! Why'd ya do that, Donald? A-Hyuck.
Donald; I needed to wake you up!
Goofy; So why didn't you just splash water on me? Lightning hurts! A-Hyuck.
Donald; Listen, the King might be in danger and we have to help him! But we can't tell anyone because it's top-secret.
Goofy; Queen Minnie?
Donald; Not even the Queen!
Goofy; Daisy?
Donald; Not her either!
Goofy; G'mornin' ladies. A-Hyuck.
Donald; Wha... (turns around) WAAAAAAAAAK!! Why didn't you tell me they were standing right behind me?
Queen Minnie; What's going on? Is there something wrong with the King?
Donald; Umm, well, He left a note...
Queen Minnie; Well, then we need to get to the library so that we can read it.
Donald; Why don't we just read it here?
Queen Minnie; Because I say so!
Everybody goes to the library and reads the note
Note; "Sorry to randomly leave you guys and all, But some big sh@&'s about to go down. The stars have been randomly blinking out, and that might possibly mean that something bad's about to happen, so I left to go check into it and stuff. There's a guy with a key who can save us all and I want you to go and persistantly follow him around. If you let any harm befall him, your going to get your butts kicked, understand? Go to Traverse Town and locate Squall Leonheart from Final Fantasy VIII, who has changed his name to 'Leon' for reasons which will be explained later. He will point you in the right direction. Somehow. P.S. Can you apologize to Minnie for me? And clean Pluto's water bowl? And unclog the toilet? And vacuum the thrown room? And take out the trash? And scrub behind your ears? And put some sugar packets under that one leg on the table? Okay, I think that's it. Goodbye!"
Queen Minnie; Wow, this certainly is worrying. But did you really have to run screaming from the thrown room?
Daisy; Grow some balls, Donald.
Donald; Right, well, me and Goofy here are gonna go do that thing the King said.
Queen Minnie; Well, he will go with you to chronicle your journey. Just like Narnia.
Donald looks around but doesn't see who the queen is talking about
Jiminy Cricket; I'm over here on the table!
Donald; Oh! A cricket! You see, that's convenient because he should be able to fit inside the keybearer's hood and stay out of everybodies way.
Donald, Goofy, and Jiminy go down a long flight of stairs to board the gummi ship
Goofy; So your world was destroyed too Jiminy? A-Hyuck.
Jiminy Cricket; Yup
Donald; Whatever, let's just go over the rules again. No meddling. That just about sums it up.
Donald and Goofy board the ship, which is being operated by Chip and Dale. Pluto jumps in after them.
Donald; Blast off!!
A big door opens dramatically, and then they fall through the floor.
Donald; WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!!!!
Goofy; YAH-HA-HA-HOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!
Acelegin; Join me again the next time I decide to post something, and we will get to see some more confusing parodized action. See ya then!!
Episode 4; Boring Exploration
Marluxia; Hey, Axel, has the mail gotten here yet?
Axel; Yeah, if you're lookin' for your Playboy, I put it on the coffee table.
Larxene; Marluxia reads Playboy? I thought he was gay.
Sa'i'x; Dude, have you seen the size of this guys porn collection? There's no way he's gay.
Axel; Got it memorized?
Marluxia; Oooo, this month covergirl is haaaawwwwt!!!
Acelegin; Well, that's enough creepiness for now. On to the episode.
Donald and Goofy arrive in Traverse Town
Donald; Come on, let's go find Leon!
Goofy; Why don't we ask someon-
Donald; Aww, whada you know?
Goofy; I know that Some species of octopus are able to make slight alterations to there appearance to convince predators that they're something completely different.
Donald; Let's just go.
Pluto starts sniffing around and alleyway.
Goofy; Come on, Pluto! We've got sh@& to do, A-Hyuck.
Pluto finds Sora asleep in the alleyway and licks his face
Sora; (draowsily) But I don't wanna go to school today
Pluto stomps on Sora's chest
Sora; OOF! You bastard! Get over here so I can kill you!
Sora tries to chase Pluto, but Pluto gets away. Sora then looks around to see that he is in a new world.
Sora; God, I thought we were finished with the random scenery changes
Voice; Nope, we've still got a lot more to go.
Sora; Shut up voice! Hmm, there is a slight possibility that I may or may not find some answers in that accesory shop.
Sora enters the accesory shop and meets Cid.
Sora; Hey old guy! Where am I?
Cid; I am not old! I'm only 32 according to Final Fantasy 7! And what do you mean "Where am I?"
Sora; Well...
6 hours later
Cid; I see. This place is called Traverse Town, and I have no idea where your Islands are. But if you need any help with anything, just let uncle Cid know.
Sora; Thank you. That didn't sound creepy at all.
18 hours of boring exploration later...
Donald; Where is this guy?
Goofy; Leon! Leon! Where are you!? A-Hyuck.
Donald; Stop making that "A-Hyuck" noise, it's really irritating.
Goofy; Go Fa-Hyuck yourself!
Acelegin; OHHHHHH! He said it!!
Aerith; Excuse me? (taps Donald's shoulder)
Donald; WAAAAAAK! (jumps onto Goofy)
Aerith; God, relax, I'm just trying to help you guys.
Meanwhile...
Sora; Okay, I need to go find Kairi and Riku while completely ignoring the fact that my parents and the comic-relief characters might also be in trouble.
Sora sees a guy get his Heart taken by the black monsters, then he has to fight some of them.
Leon; They will continue to come after you as long as you have the Keyblade.
Sora; Who are you? And why do you have a gun shaped like a sword?
Leon; It's called a Gunblade. Why would the keyblade choose a kid?
Sora; I'm not a kid! I'm 14 years old! In Germany, I am vierzehn jahres alt!
Leon; Germany doesn't exist in Kingdom Hearts! And You are a kid compared to me! Now let's fight for no adequately explored reason!
Sora beats Leon, then passes out from exhaustion.
Yuffie; You're slipping, Leon.
Leon; I was totally holding back. Apparently.
Sora wakes up on a bed
Kairi; Are you okay?
Sora; Hey, Kairi! You're alive!
Kairi; What-chu talkin' 'bout? I'm the great ninja, Yuffie.
Kairi turns into Yuffie
Sora; OMG! A hot Asian chick!
Yuffie; What?
Sora; Nothing!
Leon; The heartless are attacking you because they are afraid of the keyblade you possess. They will stop at nothing to devour your heart.
Yuffie; The Keyblade is for some reason really effective against them, and it can open and close any lock.
Sora; That explains everything! So can I have my sword back?
Leon; Sure, here you go.
Sora's Keyblade appears back in his hand.
Yuffie; I wonder if Aerith has explained everything to the other guys
Meanwhile
Aerith; So, do you understand?
Donald; Kind of
Back in Sora's room, Heartless randomly appear
Leon; Quick, run through this door!
Leon opens the door, smashing Donald. He and Sora then run into the alleyway.
Leon; Find the leader! Because apparently Heartless have leaders.
Sora runs out into the third district, while at the same time, Donald and Goofy encounter some Heartless on a balcony over head. Donald tries to blow them up, but he ends up blasting himself and Goofy into the sky and they land on Sora.
Donald: Hey, we conveniently fell on top of the Keyblade Master!
A Heartless shaped like a giant suit of armor appears
Sora; Oh no! Let's kill this thing!!
One awesome battle later
Sora; Hi, I'm Sora, and I'm looking for my friends.
Donald; Our king told us to find you and help you out.
Goofy; We can take you to other worlds on our Gummy ship!
Donald; But you can't come looking like that. This boat runs on happy faces!
Sora; That has got to be the 8th dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Leon; Here, have some munny for your journey. Spend it well.
Sora; I wonder if Marluxia will sell me some of his porn...
Donald; Here, you can now use magic somehow.
Goofy; And you can use the dodge roll ability Ga-hyuck.
Aerith; Take care of yourself.
Sora; Yes, beautiful brunette girl.
Aerith; What?
Sora; Nothing.
Acelegin; And so, Sora set's of to boldly go where no Islander has gone before, without showing the slightest bit of shock that he is accompanied by a talking duck and a dog that stands on 2 feet. To infinity, and beyond!!!
Episode 5; Scenery Changes
Maleficent; It seems the key bearer has begun his journey. We must do all we can to defeat him
Hook; Should we go gang up on him and kill him now?
Maleficent; No, we will send heartless after him and completely stay out of the picture ourselves until he comes to our individual worlds
Ursula; But he's already prooved himselves against the heartless.
Jafar; Wouldn't it be more effective if we just kill them ourse-
Maleficent; SILENCE!! You will all do as I command!
Oogie; I'm gonna go get wasted tonight!! Woohoo!!
Acelegin; on to the story
Sora; the gummi ship mini game thing reminds me of those old school arcade games where you hafta destroy other space ships.
Donald; Look, there's another world!
Sora; Yay! I'm getting space sick, let's land this b*tch
Sora and friends land in wonderland
White Rabbit; I'm late! I'm late! for a very important date! No time to say hello, F**k off! I'm late I'm late I'm late!
Sora; ......Did he just say to f**k off?
Goofy; Well he can go Fa-hyuck himself!
Goofy's Fanbase; YAAAAAAAAAAY!! HE SAID IT!!!
They enter a bizare room with a table with two bottles on it. The white rabbit, who is now small, runs through a door.
Sora; How'd he get so small?
Doorknob; He drank some of that potion on the table.
Donald; A talking doorknob? That's almost as ridiculous as a talking duck!
Sora; Let's drink this sh**! Maybe we'll hallucinate!
They drink it and shrink, then go into the queens palace to see Alice being put on trial.
Sora; OMG, a cute blonde girl!
Alice; What?
Sora; Nothing!
Queen; You're being charged with the attempted theft of my heart!
Alice; I didn't do anything of the sort!
Sora; No see didn't, it was the heartl-
Donald; You can't tell them, that would be meddling!
Sora; Shut up, Donald. Hey queen, if we find evidence that it wasn't Alice, will you let her go?
Queen; No!
Sora; I implore you to reconsider!
Queen; ...okay
Sora; CHANGE PLACES!!
Sora and friends end up in the woods
Donald; what just happened?
Sora; Shrooms just happened!
Cheshire Cat; There are four pieces of evidence you must find! Three will be easy, but the last one will be a bit tricky!
The Cat disappears
Sora; I think that guy was a pedophile. anyway, CHANGE PLACES!!
ten minutes later
Sora; Now we're on the faucet!
Goofy; And there's the last piece of evidence!
Cheshire Cat; Good job, now I'll teach you to use blizzard!
Sora; Is he coming on to me?
Donald; He's offering to teach you magic.
Sora; So he IS coming on to me!
Donald; ...No.
Sora; CHANGE PLACES!!
Queen; Have you found the evidence?
Sora; Yes.
Queen; good. I don't have time to look at all of them, so I'll throw my own evidence into yours and you have to pick one at random the show me.
Sora; I don't think that's how court works, but I choose that one.
A heartless is seen
Queen; Gah what was that!
Sora; That's what's been trying to steal your heart!
Queen; I don't believe you! Guards, get them!
four seconds later
Sora; God your guards are pathetic.
Queen; Wait, where did Alice go?
Sora; No clue.
Queen; Well, you're now charged with the task of finding her!
Sora; CHANGE PLACES!! Now where on the ceiling.
Donald; Stop doing that, I'm getting dizzy.
Voice; Yeah, scenery changing can do that.
Cheshire Cat; Turn on the light to see the shadows that took Alice!
Sora; Why do you say such dirty things!?
Donald; Sora, there was nothing dirty about what he just said.
Sora; But-
Donald; He's not a pedophile!
Cheshire Cat; Yes I am!!
Sora; CHANGE PLACES!! Now we're on the table.
A giant juggling heartless appears
Sora; Let's kill it!
They kill it
Cheshire Cat; Too late, Alice is already gone.
Goofy; Fa-hyuck!!
Goofy's Fanbase; YAY!
Doorknob; What's all the racket.
Sora; We was fighting.
Doorknob; Well, keep it down!
The doorknob yawns, and a keyhole appears in it's mouth and Sora's keyblade seals it up
Donald; That was weird.
Sora; Let's get big again and leave!
They drink the potion and grow again
Sora; Wait! I think my left testicle stayed the same size! ...Nevermind, it grew back. Delayed reaction I guess.
Acelegin; That's the end of this episode. Stay tune for the Olympus Collisium.
Those are the first five episodes. I'll post the rest eventually.
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