This time I'm reviewing a blog written by Zacksquest. A Personal Inferno is a blog based on Dante's Inferno, which I know nothing about. I have not read that book. At all. I have a friend who's played the video game based off of it, but most of what he's told me about it concerns Dante's wife's boobs. From what I gather, it's about a guy who goes to hell to save his wife.
This blog is about a man named Riccardo Abandonato, who appears to be a former priest who is one the run from some one or some thing. I don't think it specified who he was running from, but I think it was the police. Anyway, he meets with his old mentor, Father Lorenzo Laguardia, who I think died some time ago. This blog was pretty hard for me to follow.
Laguardia starts bringing Riccardo through hell for reasons I don't completely understand. They encounter a large number of Fears, who serve as overseers of the multiple layers of Hell. They proceed toward the city of Dis. As the go, Riccardo sees a bunch of familiar faces who he feels sorry for, and promises to put in a good word for them if he can get into heaven. However, as he nears the end of the journey, he grows more violent, and becomes less concerned with the damned souls he meets there.
They finally reach the city, but Riccardo isn't allowed to enter. Laguardia goes in to try and get them to allow Riccardo in, but he fails. The two of them remain outside the city for a while, and are confronted by the Mother Of Snakes. Then an angel shows up and opens the door to the city for them.
That's the last post. I don't know if the blog's over or if there's gonna be more posts later.
Anyway, it was an interesting read. I honestly couldn't make sense of most of it, and the blog didn't tell a whole lot about who Riccardo was or what was going on at the beginning of the blog. But as confusing as it was, it was an okay blog. If the blog is going to continue, I hope it gives some more back story and explanations later on.
The time has come, Acelegin said, to speak of many things.
Of Hunters and Rakes and Slender Man, of Time Travel and Strings.
So yeah, I'm gonna review a Fear blog written by the man behind the Mythos, Cutewithoutthe. That's right, this blog, The Hunter, was written by the creator of the Fear Mythos.
WARNING!!! Spoilers ahead.
So the blog starts off with our protagonist, James Hunter, who is hunting down the Rake. He gradually reveals that the Rake killed his family. He is also being followed by the Slender Man, who seems to be giving him advice. A few posts in, he also encounters what appears to be the Wooden Girl, but Slender Man protects him from her.
After a while, he forms an alliance with a man named Maxwell. He steals a pocket watch from Peter Rivers, which Maxwell says can kill the Rake. However, Maxwell betrays him, steals the watch, and runs off. Hunter ends up teaming up with Peter Rivers to try and track Maxwell down. He also briefly joins up with a Willing Doll named Charlotte, but she ends up betraying him too.
They confront Maxwell in an amusement park called The Land Of Make Believe. The pocket watch bonds with Maxwell, killing him in order to give birth to the Manufactured Newborn. Many Fears show up to witness this, including the Rake, but they disappear before Hunter can try and enact his vengeance. They then get into a big battle with the Timberwolves, and Peter dies.
Afterwards, he runs into his old friend Meredith, an SMSC agent, in a cemetery he was investigating. The two team up for a while. Some of her allies from the SMSC side with the Lonely Hearts, and kidnap Meredith. Hunter learns that he's under a form of hypnosis that allows people to control him using a key phrase. He goes to rescue Meredith, and he runs into some confrontation. However, the two of them are saved by Charlotte, who helps them escape through the Empty City.
The two of them continue to flee from the Lonely Hearts. An elite group wearing pocket watches goes after them. Hunter is able to steal one of their watches and uses it's power against them.
After this, there are several post which are taken from Hunter's old diaries when he was younger and posted to his blog, detailing his past. He eventually starts posting again, explaining how he managed to escape the Lonely Hearts
He comes to learn that the Rake wasn't really the one who killed his family, and that Meredith had been working for the Blind Man. He leaves her and sets off to bring down the Lonely Hearts. He has multiple encounters with the Blind Man, who turns out to be the stories main antagonist, with the Rake turning out to be Hunter's protector, who was only pretending to be an enemy.
The Blind Man reveals that his past experiment using Hunter resulted in an anomaly causing multiple replicas of Hunter to appear throughout the timeline, and he offers Hunter a choice to either go back in time to save his family, thus preventing the anomaly, or to save Meredith. Hunter is able to see the ghosts of his family, making peace with them. He chooses to save Meredith, angering the Blind Man.
Hunter then begins travelling to multiple points in time with the Rakes help, in order to eliminate the alternate versions of himself and make sure time moves the way it was meant too. He discovers that many of the events in his past were the result of his currant self's intervention.
In the end, he goes after the man who was really responsible for his families death; his old friend, Michael. It is implied that they both die in the end.
Okay, review time! I loved the blog. Awesome work. It started off slowly, gradually building up to the plot. And the way the back story was set up was pretty good. It was pretty confusing at first, but in the end it all made sense. The time traveling part near the end was nicely done, although a little complicated. Also, the parts where it crossed over with other blogs was a little hard to follow.
So, all in all, I have pretty much no complaints about this blog! It was f@&king awesome! Cute, I don't know if you're ever going to read this, but if you ever do, I just wanna let you know that this is one of the best blogs I've ever read and I've developed a new level of respect for you!
And now, I will insert a random music video for no reason!
My friend C-Rad and I had fun this Halloween. I went as Pale Daniel from my Fear Mythos blogs, and he went as a Slender Proxy.
I'm on the top, he's on the bottom.
Also, I recently made a video game. I'll post a download link and a description of the game in my next post, but at the moment I'm too lazy, so just enjoy some Escape The Fate.
So, a Fear Mythos member called Phobos is working on a video game using characters from the Fear Mythos. It's actually an unofficial sequel to the Fear Mythos RPG, which I am too lazy to link right now. I might edit a download link into this post later.
Anyway, Phobos has asked yours truly to draw mugshots of the characters, so here they are;
Zeke (Shadows See All)
David Grant (Evolve Or Die)
Red (City Of Sinopia)
Harold Ardy (The World Through These Eyeholes/ Kill The Faceless Bastard)
William "Bill" Dawson (Studying Egypt/ The Darkness Has Empowered Me). This is one of my characters, and I look forward to seeing him in the game.
Jordan Dooling (Jordan Eats Normally Now)
Penny (Penny Dropped)
Ghost (The Archive)
Also, in unrelated news, I'm beginning to post things to mu youtube channel which I've had for several years but never really used much. So far, I have 2 videos.
I apologize for the nightcore video. That was my first nightcore attempt, so it's not very good. I'll try more in the future, and hopefully I'll get better.
As some of you may know, the Kingdom Hearts Parody Script isn't my only Parody Script. I've finally gotten around to editing what I have of the Shadow Hearts Parody Script. Here you go;
Episode 1; The Crappy
Pilot Episode
Johnny;
Hi, I'm Johnny Garland. I'm a 16 year old private detective with
awesome hair. I was in an accident a few years ago, and I lost my
family and some of my memories. I became a detective so that I can
hopefully recover my lost memories. I also live with this really buff
guy who does just about everything I tell him too. Lenny;
Master, dinner's ready. Johnny;
It's too salty! Make it again. Lenny;
Yes master. Johnny;
Hehe, That guy is so
my
b*tch. Lenny;
Also, we have a client who would like to speak to you. Gilbert;
Hello, I'm professor Gilbert. I need you to find a man named Marlow
who is guilty of several crimes that aren't very important to the
plot of the game. If he isn't found soon, I'll have to come up with
all of his bail money. Johnny;
I'm sorry, I didn't get any of that. I was distracted by your hunched
back, dangling arms, and scrawny legs. Gilbert;
Just find the guy, okay. Johnny;
Okay! laterGerard;
Hellooooooo, little boy! Buigen;
We're a couple of openly gay store keepers who will appear in almost
every location in the game who will sell you various items which will
come in handy on your journey! Johnny;
What journey? Gerard;
I don't think he's made it that far into the game yet. Buigen;
Oh well. Here, have a free stellar chart. It'll let you use
magic! Johnny;
Why are you giving it to me for free? Gerard;
Because we looooooove
your
hair. Buigen;
All you have to do is keep the chart on you at all times. Just
pretend it's me. Acelegin;
I'm not kidding, he actually says that. Johnny;
Okaaaay, I'll be going then. eventually Johnny;
It took all afternoon, but I finally narrowed down Marlow's location
to this theater. Now to go inside and find him! Marlow;
I'm drunk! Get out! Johnny;
My name is Johnny Garland, am I'm here to bring you back to
Gilbert. Marlow;
Johnny Garland? Ahahaha! (looks
at Johnny)
OMG! You really are Johnny! Stay away! Johnny;
Wow, you really are drunk, aren't you? and
then a portal opens and a giant monster eats Marlow Johnny;
Oh crap sticks! This is bad! meanwhile,
at the top of a skyscraper, far above himShania;
I can see the window! I'm going to jump off the roof, take my clothes
off, turn into Thunderbird, and kick that monster's butt! Natan;
Is that necessary? Shania;
Is what necessary? Natan;
Taking off your clothes. I mean, in the original Shadow Hearts, Yuri
could transform while wearing a bulky trench coat, and yet you have
to be half naked to use your powers. Why is that? Shania;
It's called fanservice! Deal with it! down
bellow Johnny;
I never thought I'd die like this. At least I remembered to delete my
browsing history so that Lenny won't know I was watching porn
earlier. and
then Thunderbird crashes through the roof and saves him. Johnny;
Whoa! That was intense... I'm gonna faint now. Later
Johnny;
How the hell did I get back home? Lenny;
Master, these two native Americans found you and brought you back.
They said that you were attacked by some kind of monster. Johnny;
Oh yeah, There was a monster. What the hell was that? Shania;
Well, to wrap things up, there's this energy called Malice which is
born from peoples evil and it sometimes opens windows which monsters
come out of. I'm a Harmonixer who uses the magical power of fusion to
destroy these monsters. Johnny;
Ah! Lenny;
Master, please don't shout like that. Johnny;
But I forgot to TIVO Tosh.0 last night! Lenny;
We don't even have a TV right now. Johnny;
Ah! Lenny;
Master, what is it now? Johnny;
Why don't we have a TV? Lenny;
You pawned it off so that we could pay the rent. Johnny;
Ah! Lenny;
Master, please stop shouting. Johnny;
Why the hell would I sell the TV? Shania;
Can we please get back on topic? Johnny;
Ah! Natan;
What is it this time? Johnny;
Marlow was eaten by a monster! How am I supposed to explain this to
my client, professor Gilbert? Shania;
Maybe we could help. Johnny;
Ah! Shania;
Does he do this often? Lenny;
Only when he forgets his breakfast. Natan;
So that's
why
it's the most important meal of the day. Shania;
As I was saying, Natan and I could go with you and explain what
happened to this Gilbert guy. Johnny;
I'm sorry, but Gilbert is obviously evil. It would be wrong of me to
bring into that kind of dang- (stares
at Shania's boobs for about seven seconds)
I would be very happy if you would accompany me on my
assignment. Shania;
Well, now that that's settled, where the hell are we supposed to find
this guy? Lenny;
He says he works at Arkham university. Johnny;
Oh boy! We get to meet Batman! Lenny;
Not that
Arkham. Johnny;
Thanks for crushing my dreams, Lenny. Lenny;
Don't mention it.
Acelegin;
That's it for now. Stay tuned for future episodes.
Episode; Arkham Asylum/University
Police;
Alright nameless serial killer! Come out with your hands up. Killer;
Damn. I can't let them find me. It's bad enough I got shot, I don't
wanna be arrested on top of it. Police;
Reeeeeeed Robin! Killer;
Yum! Police;
He's over there! Killer;
Damn it! Why do I keep falling for that? And
then a hot chick appears and kills all of the police with
MaliceKiller;
Holy crap! Who are
you? The
hot chick kisses Killer and his wounds suddenly heal
themselves.Killer;
Oh my god! I finally lost my mouth virginity!
Awesome! meanwhile Johnny;
Here we are! Arkham Asylum! Shania;
University. Johnny;
Same difference. Anyway, Gilbert's supposed to work here. Guy
in suit; Excuse me, Do you know where professor Gilbert is? Johnny;
Actually, we were looking for him as well. Guy
in suit; Maybe we could look together! Johnny;
No, you're weird. I'd rather be by myself. Shania;
So where do you think it is? Johnny;
I don't know. Let's ask around. later Johnny;
Good news, everybody! I found out where Gilbert's office is! Shania;
Yay! Johnny;
It's in a room that's locked off to the public and the only way to
get inside is through a complex system of underground tunnels with no
lighting! Shania;
Crap. How are we supposed to see down there? Natan;
We can use this lantern I found in the science class room. Shania;
Why was there a lantern in a class room? Johnny;
I don't don't care, as long as we have permission to use it. Do
we? Natan;
Ummm, yeah, of course we have permission. meanwhileScientist;
Ow, my head. I feel like I was bludgeoned with the handle of a gun.
Wait, where'd my lantern go? back
to the plot Johnny;
Why are there monsters down here? Shania;
I'm starting to think that Gilbert might be evil. Natan;
This door seems different from all the others. Perhaps it leads to
Gilbert's room. Johnny;
Damn, it's locked. Maybe he has a spare key hidden some
where. meanwhileGuy
in suit; All these monsters are proof that Frank's suspicions are
true, and Gilbert is evil. Perhaps throwing this lever will destroy
the monsters somehow. The
guy throws the lever and the cage begins to open slowlyGuy
in suit; Oh no! Now they're gonna get out. And it sounds like some
one is coming! Frank must hide behind this brightly colored
blanket! 4
seconds later Johnny;
Is it me, or are those monsters beating up a blanket? Natan;
It looks like someone's hiding under it. Shania;
Why does a grown man have a brightly colored blanket with
him? Johnny;
It looks like the monsters have noticed us. We'd better fight
them. laterGuy
in Suit; Wow! That was amazing! As a token of Frank's appreciation,
Frank will tell you all about Frank's backstory! Johnny;
What? Guy
in Suit; A long time ago, Frank was flying his plane over South
America for no reason whatsoever, but Frank had forgotten to fill up
with fuel before hand, and ended up crashing into the jungle. After
many days of wandering, Frank stumbled upon a secret ninja village,
where Frank learned the secret ninja arts. Frank swore to use his
ninja arts to protect the freedom of the United States. Recently,
Frank heard a rumor that Professor Gilbert was evil, so Frank came to
investigate. Johnny;
Who the hell is Frank? Shania;
I think he's speaking in the third person. Johnny;
What the hell is the third person? Natan;
I think that guy is
Frank. Guy
in suit; Yes, Frank is Frank! Natan;
Does this mean Acelegin can stop referring to you as the "Guy in
Suit"? Frank;
Yes. So, how about we go look for Gilbert now? Johnny;
Well, we kind of need a key... Frank;
Frank can use his ninja arts to open doors! Shania;
Whatever. We'll bring you along for comic relief
purposes. laterFrank;
So this is door? Johnny;
Yes. This is door. Can you open door? Frank;
Indeed! Frank
causes a key to appear and uses it to open the door Johnny;
Wow. I was expecting something awesome. Show's how lame I am. Natan;
He just summoned a key out of f@&kingnothingness!
How is that not awesome!? Gilbert;
Hello? Thanks for dropping by.
Johnny;
Dropping?
Gilbert;
Bye! (trap
door opens)
Johnny;
Ah!
Several
hours later
Johnny;
Okay, we're back now.
Gilbert;
Damn, I thought that would work better. Johnny;
Gilbert! I need to know the truth! Are you evil? Gilbert;
Yes. I've been secretly experimenting with monsters in my underground
laboratory. Johnny;
Then does that mean you summoned the monster that ate
Marlow? Gilbert;
No, but I figured it might happen. Now, I have to go, but I'll leave
behind some toys for you to play with! A
window opens and a monster comes out and Johnny’s Knife suddenly
turns into a lightsaber and stabs it in the faceGilbert;
Impressive. Not quite as amazing as her,
But
you have potential. Johnny;
What the hell are you talking about!? Why do I suddenly have these
awesome Jedi powers!? Explain yourself! Shania;
Johnny, there's another monster coming out of the window! Pay
attention! 4
seconds later Johnny;
Damn, he got away! Come on gang, we've got a mystery on our hands!
Episode
3; Attack Of The Fanboys
Johnny;
Can someone explain to me why we came to the Grand Canyon? Shania;
We came here so that I can communicate with the spirits and obtain a
new fusion form. Johnny; So why couldn't we take a bus? Seriously,
we just took a 3 week long walk. Shania; ...Sh@&, I hadn't
thought of that! Johnny; And that's why women belong in the
kitchen. Frank; Haha, It's funny because it's sexist! Zonda;
Hey! Shania, Baby! What's up? Johnny; Who is this guy and why
isn't he gawking at my amazing hair? Natan; This is Zonda, and he
is Shania's fiance. Johnny; Why do I get the feeling that every
Shania fanboy just smashed their PS2 over their knee? Shania;
Listen, Zonda, I need the power of Tatan'Ka. Zonda; Are you sure
you want to do this? It will put tremendous strain on your
body. Shania; I'll have you know that my body can take a great
deal of strain. Zonda; Well, I suppose I can give you permission
to face the spirit, but I should warn you: the path ahead is paved
with horny fanboys. Shania; My God! Zonda; Whatever happens,
promise me that you won't sleep with them. Shania; Don't worry, I
promised my father that I would only give my virginity to the man I'm
going to marry. Or to an attractive sixteen year old private
detective with great hair and a lightsaber, but so far I haven't met
anyone who meets that description, so you shouldn't worry.meanwhile,
ten feet awayFrank;
Frank wonders what they are talking about... Johnny; Well,
whatever it is, I'm sure it has nothing to do with me. Natan; Yeah
you're probably right.laterArgen
Tabisu; ZOMFG! It be Shania! Maii; I loveses Shania's
boobies! Tonakh; Want to make babies! Natan; Oh No!
Fanboys! Johnny; Like Acelegin! Frank; They're Hideous! Johnny;
Like Acelegin! Shania; Run away! Argen Tabisu; Wait, Me want
look up skirt!even
laterTatan'Ka;
Who disturbs my slumber! Shania; My name is Shania, and wish to
fuse with you. Tatan'Ka; Aright, that'll be 50 bucks. Shania;
What? Tatan'Ka; Did I f@&king stutter? Pay up woman! Shania; Okay, now
to take off all my clothes and test out my new transformation. Natan;
Why do you have to keep taking off your clothes? Shania; To please
the fanboys! Johnny; Like Acelegin! Shania;
Superspecialawesomeultraspecialsexytransformationsequnce, go! Natan;
Wow! Awesome! Frank; That was simply stunning! Johnny; Can I
have your autograph? Shania; Unconsciousness! Frank; Oh no, she
passed out! Johnny; What do we do? Natan; We need to end the
episode so that we can get her to safety! Johnny; You're right!
Sorry fans, but we gotta go. Tune in next time!
I wrote these scripts in chronological order. Since 358/2 days kicks off before the end of the first game, I started on the 358/2 days Parody Script before the first Parody Script concluded. Anyway, enjoy. day 255 Axel; Hey Roxas, I bet you don't know why the sun sets red. Roxas; I have a better question: why does this game start off in the middle? Axel; Because confusing people gives the employees at Square Enix a hard on. day 7 Xemnas; Hey Mathaxsan, guess what! I cloned a female version of Sora to help further the organizations plans! Isn't that awesome? Zexion; (enters room) Hey Master Manse- I mean, Xemnas, I need to talk to you about my salar- Is that a cardboard cut-out of Mathaxsan? Xemnas; Go away! Acelegin; Behold! A parody of everyone's favorite Kingdom Hearts game! Sa'i'x; Okay everyone, we have an important meeting today, so we need to go to the meeting chamber. Luxord; Question! Sa'i'x; Yes? Luxord; Weren't you written out of the script? Sa'i'x; I play an important role in this game, so Acelegin brought me back under house arrest. Axel; Question! Sa'i'x; *sigh*. Yes? Axel; When will you be off house arrest? Sa'i'x; Halfway through Kingdom Hearts 2. Demyx; Question! Sa'i'x; What!? Demyx; Can my girlfriend come to the meeting? Sa'i'x; No, Knives Chau cannot come. You know that outsiders aren't allowed to attend organization meetings. Demyx; Aw, nuts. Sa'i'x; Any other questions? Vexen; (raises hand) Sa'i'x; No, I cannot lift the ban on marijuana in the castle. Now come on, we have a meeting to attend. Xemnas; Greetings, everyone. Allow me to introduce the new kid, Xion. Larxene; Does this mean I'm not the new one anymore? Axel; You stopped being the new one when Roxas showed up. Larxene; When did he get here? Marluxia; A week ago. Larxene; Where was I when this happened? Xaldin; In the bedroom with Zexion. That's my guess. Xemnas; Come to think of it, both of you were absent during that meeting. Zexion; I plead the fifth! day 8 Sa'i'x; Roxas, I'm sending you on your first mission today. Axel will go with you. later Axel; Okay, we need to find a treasure chest. Roxas; Is this it? Axel; Alright! time to open it!. Roxas; I think it's locked. Axel; Don't worry, I can totally pick this thing using Larxene's hairpins. Roxas; Why do you have Larxene's hairpins? Axel; Uuuummmmm..... She... gave them to me... Roxas; What? Axel; Forget it. I'm having some trouble here. I should have watched an instructional video on youtube before I tried to pick this lock. Roxas; My keyblade might work. Axel; Good idea, let's try that. later Axel; That was a good mission. How's your ice cream? Roxas; It's salty... Axel; I wonder whose chest that was. Roxas; Why is it salty? Axel; I bet they'll be pissed when they find out we stole their potion. Roxas; Axel, I'm pretty sure ice cream isn't supposed to taste salty. day 9 Marluxia; Hey, Larxene. Wanna take over the organization? Larxene; Sure, as long as Xaldin is the first to die. Sa'i'x; Marluxia, I'm teaming you up with Roxas. Teach him to fight. later Marluxia; And that's he difference between Playboy and Brazzers. Roxas; Aren't you supposed to be teaching me the difference between pureblood heartless and emblem heartless? Marluxia; Yeah, I don't care. day 10 Zexion; Okay, you and I are together today, and I have some important advice for you. Roxas; Really! Where's it from, Germany? I don't know why, but I like Germany. Zexion; I said "important", not "imported". Roxas; oh. Zexion; Whatever you do, Always do the minimum amount of work you can possibly get away with. Roxas; But won't I get a bonus for doing extra credit? Zexion; Trust me, it's not worth it. day 11 Larxene; Today, I'm gonna teach you magic. Go ahead, try using fire. Roxas; Okay. (casts fire) Larxene; Damn it! Don't aim at me! Now I'm gonna need new robes. Roxas; Hehe, panties. Larxene; What? Roxas; Nothing! Acelegin; See, Sora and Roxas do have something in common. day 12 Vexen; It's now time for you to learn about recon. But first, we're gonna smoke dis joint! 10 minutes later Roxas; Whoa, check out this sign. Vexen; Yeah, this is definitely a peculiar sign. Roxas; It's so octagonal. Vexen; And it has those weird letters on it. S-T-O-P. Roxas; Should we put this sign in our report? Vexen; Yeah, Xemnas totally needs to know about this sign. day 13 Roxas; So what are we doing today, Lexeaus? Lexeaus; Bitch slap! Roxas; Ouch! What was that for!? Lexeaus; You see, when your health is in the yellow zone, you can perform a special move called a limit break. Roxas; But my health is still in the green. Lexeaus; Oh, okay. (slaps Roxas again) Roxas; Ouch! Okay, that's enough! Geez, I'll do the f@&king limit break. meanwhile Pence; Oh, man! Some one broke into my chest! I needed that potion to cure my sick mother. Damn it! And now, I leave you with some nightcore;
