Ghost Papyrus; Argh! I died! And that was my last life.
Acelegin; That sucks, dude.
Ghost Papyrus; So now I have to start the entire game over again?
Ghost Papyrus; How on Earth did you ever beat this game.
Acelegin; Well, I played the version on the PS2's Mega Collection. I had the option to save my state, which I exploited the hell out of.
Ghost Papyrus; Isn't that cheating?
Acelegin; You think I give a shit?
Suddenly, Red Daniel bursts through the front door.
Red Daniel; Papyrus! I need to borrow your car!
Acelegin turns to Papyrus, shocked.
Acelegin; You have a car!?
Ghost Papyrus; What do you need it for?
Red Daniel; I sort of ruined one of Alyssa's outfits, so now I have to buy her a new one...
Ghost Papyrus; Oh. Okay, sure. My keys are on the table over there.
Red Daniel; Thanks!
Red Daniel retrieves the keys and exits.
Ghost Papyrus; Wait, does he have a driver's license?
Acelegin; No. No he does not.
Later, at the mall.
Alyssa; Wow. You actually showed.
Red Daniel; Yeah, yeah. Let's get this over with. What store are we going to?
Alyssa; I don't know yet. Let's go browse a bit. I'll make up my mind later.
Red Daniel; Fine...
A few minutes pass in silence as Alyssa's looks at some different outfits. Red Daniel catches sight of Dank Memes passing by the store they're in and calls out to him.
Red Daniel; Yo! Dank!
Dank Memes; Huh? Oh, hey Red.
Red Daniel; What are you up to?
Dank Memes; Came here to do some light shopping. Maybe see if I can get a date this Friday,
Dank Memes notices Alyssa.
Dank Memes; Ah, speaking of dates, what are you guys up to?
Red Daniel; Not what you're thinking. I'm just here because I owe her clothes...
Dank Memes; Clothes?
Alyssa; He split a cherry daiquiri on one of my favorite outfits, and then tried to solve the problem with fire.
Red Daniel; Hey, scorched clothes are really in these days.
Dank Memes; That might explain all the slightly burnt t-shirts I've been seeing lately...
Alyssa; But yeah, He owes me some new clothes now.
Dank Memes; Well, I've got a bit of an eye for fashion. I could help you pick something out.
Alyssa; You're literally wearing a cat themed shirt right now...
Dank Memes; Hey! I make this look good, okay.
Meanwhile, back at Acelegin's apartment, Papyrus is continuing to struggle with Sonic the Hedgehog.
Acelegin; Hey, you made it to the Labyrinth zone. Good job. I've never got that far without save states.
Papyrus; But I'm down to my last life again! And I've only managed to get one of the Chaos Emeralds...
Acelegin; Don't worry, you're getting the hang of it. Just keep trying.
Acelegin stands up.
Acelegin; In the meantime, I'm gonna go get another beer.
Acelegin walks over to his mini-fridge, and on his way to open it, his eyes fall upon a book sitting on top of it.
Acelegin; This is Red's book, right?
Acelegin; picks the book up, examining the bookmark marking the last page Red Daniel had read.
Acelegin; Just what was in this thing that bothered him so much?
Acelegin holds the book in his hands for a couple minutes, debating whether or not to open it up to the marked page. In the end, though, he sighs and sets it back down.
Acelegin; Another time...
Ghost Papyrus; Damn it! I died again!
Meanwhile, Red Daniel, Alyssa, and Dank Memes are exiting the mall. Dank Memes and Alyssa are both carrying bags, while Red Daniel stares sadly into his much lighter wallet.
Red Daniel; Just had to get the most expensive one they had, huh?
Alyssa; Serves you right.
Red Daniel; Whatever. We're even now, right?
Alyssa; I'm still peeved with you, but yes. You're debt's repaid.
Dank Memes chuckles.
Alyssa; What's so funny.
Dank Memes; You two are cute together.
Red Daniel; You take that back, you son of a bitch.
Dank Memes; I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Dank Memes pauses for a moment, staring at something in the distance.
Dank Memes; Uh, Red? Does that guy look kind of like... you? But with, like, a completely wrong color scheme.
Red Daniel follows Dank Meme's gaze, and lets out an exasperated sigh.
Red Daniel; Not this prick...
Green Daniel; Golly! Red! I wasn't expecting to run into you here!
Red Daniel; Hello, Green...
Green Daniel; Are these friends of yours?
Red Daniel; You could say that...
Alyssa; I'm... um... his coworker...
Red Daniel; Her name's Alyssa.
Green Daniel; Well, I'm pleased to meet you, miss Alyssa.
Alyssa; Um... Thanks. You too...
Green Daniel; And you are?
Dank Memes; I'm Dank Memes. I'm a dating sim protagonist.
Green Daniel; Is that why I find you weirdly attractive?
Dank Memes; I have that effect on people.
Red Daniel; So what brings you here?
Green Daniel; Oh, well... it's a little embarrassing, but...
Green Daniel shows some unopened packs of Yu-Gi-Oh cards.
Green Daniel; I was actually picking up some of these...
Dank Memes; Oh, you play too?
Red Daniel; Oh god, I'm surrounded by fucking nerds...
Alyssa; I used to play in Middle school, but it's been a long time since then.
Green Daniel; Hey, what do you say we have a quick game? There's four of us, so we could easily have a tag duel.
Red Daniel; Really? Is this what's happening in this post? I thought this was the shopping episode! Why is it going in this direction?
Dank Memes; I don't object. You've got a deck, right Red?
Red Daniel; I live with Acelegin; Of course I do.
Alyssa; I don't.
Green Daniel; I've got a spare I can lend you.
Green Daniel offers Alyssa a deck of cards.
Green Daniel; How would you like to be on my team, miss Alyssa?
Alyssa glances over at Red Daniel.
Alyssa; If it means I can embarrass this asshole, sure.
Red Daniel; I'm embarrassed that we're even doing this. Let's just get it over with.
Red Daniel presses a button on his watch, which then transforms into a duel disk. Duel disks also appear on the other's wrists.
Alyssa; You have a watch that gives everyone around you their own duel disk?
Red Daniel; Acelegin gave it to me. For some reason.
Green Daniel; Alright, let's establish some rules real quick. Each team shares 8000 life points. Red Daniel and I will start on the front line. Only the player on the front line can activae cards and effects, and only the front line will be affected by them. The order of turns will go Red, Alyssa, Dank, then me, then back to Red.
Red Daniel; So I go first then? Sounds good.
Red Daniel and Green Daniel stand across from each other. Everyone draws five cards for their starting hand.
Red Daniel; Alright. Let's go! For my first move, I normal summon Inferno Juggernaut!
A large soldier, dressed head to toe in silver and red armor, and wielding a giant flaming sword appears before Red Daniel. It is level 4, with 1900 attack points.
Red Daniel; And next, I activate the spell card, Tremendous Fire! This card deals 1000 damage to you, and 500 to me!
Red Daniel and Green Daniel are both engulfed in flames, and their life points drop to 7500 and 7000 respectively.
Red Daniel; I'll end my turn with that.
Green Daniel; Very well. Alyssa, you're up next.
Alyssa move to the front line, while Green Daniel steps back.
Alyssa; I'll start by drawing a card, then I summon Emerald Goliath!
A massive golem made of dark green stones appears. It is level 4 with 1800 attack points.
Alyssa; I'll now equip it with Axe Of Despair, increasing its attack power by 1000 points!
A monstrous looking axe appears in her monsters hand, and its attack power rises to 2800.
Alyssa; Now I'll attack your Inferno Juggernaut!
The Emerald Goliath swings its axe, and Red Daniel's monster raises its sword to defend itself.
Red Daniel; Once per turn, while in attack position, Inferno Juggernaut can survive one battle.
Red Daniel's life points drop to 6600.
Alyssa; Whenever Emerald Goliath deal battle damage, my opponent discards one card from their hand.
Red Daniel; Fine, whatever...
Red Daniel discards a card from his hand.
Alyssa; I set one card face down and end my turn.
Red Daniel; Alright, Dank. You're up.
Red Daniel steps back while Dank Memes moves to the front. Dank Memes draws a card.
Dank Memes; I'll start by tributing Red's Juggernaut to tribute summon Battle Triker!
A man in a white leather biking uniform and helmet, riding a three wheeled motorcycle appears on the field, replacing Red Daniel's Inferno Juggernaut. Its level 6, with 2300 attack points.
Red Daniel; Really? A "card games on motorcycles" joke?
Dank Memes; Trust me, I could have done a lot worse. Next, I play the quickplay spell card, Gold Romance Letter.
Alyssa; What does that do, exactly?
Dank Memes; Simple. I offer you a hug. If you accept, we both gain 1000 life points. If you refuse, we both discard three cards from the top of our decks.
Alyssa; Uh, sure. I'll accept. I don't see why not...
Dank Memes steps forward and gives Alyssa a hug. Both of their life points increase, with Alyssa's rising back to 8000 and Dank Memes becoming 7600. They then release each other and return to their respective spots.
Red Daniel; Nice job giving them back the points I took from them earlier...
Dank Memes; Calm down. It's just a game. Anyway, fo my next move, I'll use another quickplay spell, called Tailor Of The Fickle.
Alyssa; Oh shit...
Dank Memes; Ah, you're familiar with this one? It allows me to take that Axe Of Despair of yours, and equip it to my monster, instead.
The Axe Of Despair vanishes from Emerald Goliath's hand, reappearing in Battle Triker's grip. Battle Triker's attack rises to 3300, while Emerald Goliath's returns to 1800.
Dank Memes; Now, I'll have Battle Triker attack your Goliath!
Battle Triker revs up his trike, and charges at Emerald Goliath, swinging the Axe Of Despair.
Alyssa; I activate the trap card, Armor Of Virtue! After activating this card, I can equip it to a monster I control! And as long as it's equipped, it can't be destroyed in battle!
A soft green light surrounds Emerald Goliath, and it endures the hit. Alyssa's life points fall to 6500.
Dank Memes; Good play. But, I still have a trick left. Would you like to hear Battle Triker's effect?
Dank Memes; You see, since I've activated two quickplay spells this turn since summoning him, he gains an additional attack. So, I can still hit you one more time.
Battle Triker swings its axe again, striking Emerald Goliath and bringing Alyssa's life points down to 5000.
Alyssa; Damn it...
Dank Memes; Sorry 'bout that. I'll go ahead and set two cards, then end my turn.
Green Daniel; In that case, I guess I'm up.
Dank Memes; Let's see what'cha got, Green.
Green Daniel moves to the front line and draws a card.
Dank Memes; Before you do anything else, I wanna go ahead and use one of my face-down cards. You cool with that?
Green Daniel; I suppose so. Go ahead.
Dank Memes; I think you'll like this one. I activate Green Romance Letter.
Green Daniel; Gosh. What does this one do?
Dank Memes; Once again, I offer my opponent a hug. Should you accept, we both draw a card. If you refuse, We both banish a card from our hand face-down.
Green Daniel; A free card for both of us? I see no reason to decline.
Dank Memes; All righty then. Come 'ere, you!
Green Daniel and Dank Memes approach each other and exchange a brief hug. They then break apart and return to their positions. Dank Memes looks at Red Daniel uneasily.
Red Daniel; (whispering) Something up.
Dank Memes; (whispering) He's missing something. Can't quite explain it.
Green Daniel and Dank Memes turn back to each other, and they each draw a card.
Green Daniel; Okay. First of all, I activate the spell card Arrow Of Virtue. Since your life points are higher than mine, I can deal you 1000 points of damage.
A green arrow falls from the sky, hitting Dank Memes and reducing his life points to 6600.
Red Daniel; There goes those life points you just gained...
Green Daniel; It's cool.
Green Daniel; Next, by sending a face up spell or trap I control to the graveyard, I special summon Celadon Fox.
The Armor Of Virtue surrounding Emerald Goliath vanishes, and a grayish-green fox appears before Green Daniel. It's level 5 with 1800 attack points.
Green Daniel; Next, I normal summon Jade Sparrow.
A small green bird appears on Green Daniel's field. It's level one, with 200 attack.
Green Daniel; When this card is summoned, I can inflict 300 damage to my opponent's life points for each monster I control. That's three right now, so you take 900 damage.
Dank Memes life points fall to 5700.
Green Daniel; Next, I use Celadon Fox's effect. At the cost of 500 life points, I can deal you 300 damage for every monster currently in play. That's currently four, adding up to 1200.
Both of their life points fall to 4500.
Green Daniel; Then I play the spell card Scroll Of Awakening. If the total levels of every monster I control is ten or higher, I can pay 500 life points to add one card from my deck to my hand.
Green Daniel's life points drop to 4000.
Green Daniel; The card I'll be adding to my hand is the ritual spell card Devotion To Virtue.
Red Daniel; A ritual spell?
Green Daniel; I'll now activate it. So by tributing the level four Emerald Goliath, the level one Jade Sparrow, and the level 5 Celadon Fox, I can now ritual summon the level ten, Paladin Of Virtue!
A knight in gleaming green armor appears on Green Daniel's field. It stands tall with a mighty 3000 attack points.
Green Daniel; When this monster is ritual summoned, it allows me to destroy any spell or trap card in play. I'll use this effect to target Axe Of Despair!
The Axe Of Despair shatters, and Battle Triker's attack points return to 2300.
Green Daniel; I'll now have my monster attack! And any monster it battles loses attack equal to its own level times 100!
The Paladin Of Virtue lunges at Battle Triker. Battle Triker's attack falls to 1700, and Paladin Of Virtue's blade cleaves it in two. Dank Memes life points are reduced to 3200.
Dank Memes; Geez, just how many effects does that thing have?
Green Daniel; Gosh, it has quite a few, actually. But I'll leave the rest of them a mystery for now. I end my turn.
Red Daniel steps forward.
Red Daniel; Alright, it's you and me then. I draw!
Red Daniel looks a the card he drew, disappointment flashing across his face.
Red Daniel; A monster might've been nice. Oh well. I play another copy of Tremendous Fire!
Red Daniel's life points fall to 2700, while Green Daniel's fall to 3000.
Red Daniel; Alright, now how do I deal with this fucking paladin?
Suddenly, Red Daniel's phone goes off. He answers it to hear Acelegin speaking.
Acelegin; Red, I need you to come back soon. It's urgent.
Red Daniel; What's up? Are you under attack? How bad is it?
Acelegin; I'm out of beer.
Red Daniel; Oh god! The worst of all possible fates has befallen you! I'll be back ASAP!
Red Daniel hangs up and turns back to Green Daniel.
Red Daniel; Hey, uh, can we maybe postpone this thing a bit? I gotta go a beer run for Ace.
Green Daniel; Uh, I guess we can call it a draw for now, if you need to.
Dank Memes stands watching, as a pair of choices appear before him. The first choice says "Let him go", while the second one says "Finish the game". Dank Memes hesitates for a second, before selecting the second option.
Dank Memes; Hey, why not finish your turn, at least? Ace can wait a couple extra minutes, right?
Red Daniel; Huh? Well, there's really much I can do here...
Dank Memes; You've still got my remaining face down, don't you?
Red Daniel; Huh? Oh Right! I activate whatever the hell Dank set earlier!
The card Dank Memes had set earlier activates.
Green Daniel; What is this, exactly?
Dank Memes; This is my Red Romance Letter. Allow me to recite its effect for you all.
Dank Memes clears his throat.
Dank Memes; "Target one face-up monster on the field, then offer your opponent a kiss on the lips. If they accept, destroy the targeted monster, and all face-up monsters with equal or lower attack than it. If they refuse, both player take damage equal to the attack of the targeted monster."
Green Daniel raises an eyebrow and looks at Dank Memes.
Green Daniel; So, you want me to kiss you?
Dank Memes; Me? No, of course not. I didn't activate the card.
Green Daniel's eyes widen in shock as he looks at Red Daniel. Red Daniel smirks.
Red Daniel; So, how 'bout it, big boy? Care to pucker up for me?
A viridian fire burns in Green Daniel's eyes as he narrows them.
Green Daniel; I refuse.
The Red Romance Letter begins glowing crimson.
Green Daniel; I guess this ends in a draw, then.
Red Daniel; Not quite...
Green Daniel; What?
Red Daniel; Remember when Alyssa forced me to discard a card? Well, now I'm gonna activate it's effect.
Alyssa; Wait, what?
Red Daniel; I banish Red Kuriboh from my graveyard to negate the damage I would take from this effect!
A little red ball of fluff appears before Red Daniel to protect him. The Red Romance Letter explodes, reducing Green Daniel's life points to zero, while Red Kuriboh Protects Red Daniel's remaining life points.
Red Daniel; This is the second time I've beat you, Green.
Green Daniel chuckles.
Green Daniel; Golly, it sure is. But, you know what they say. Third times he charm!
Red Daniel turns, and begins walking away.
Red Daniel; We'll see about that.
Alyssa and Dank Memes both join Red Daniel as he walks.
Dank Memes; This was fun. We should hang out more.
Red Daniel; Come by the bar sometime. I'll hook you up with a discount.
Dank Memes; Sounds good. I'll see you two around.
Dank Memes turns and begins walking away. Alyssa stares at him for a few seconds as he leaves.
Alyssa; He really does look good in that shirt...
Meanwhile, back at Acelegin's apartment.
Ghost Papyrus; I'm so close to beating the Scrap Brain Zone! Ace, what do I do next?
Acelegin; I dunno. It's been years since I played this zone.
Ghost Papyrus; But I'm on my last life again! If I screw this up, I have o start back from the beginning again!
Acelegin; Yeah, well, old school games can be fucking cruel. You just have to live with it.
Ghost Papyrus; This sucks... So when is Red getting back, anyway?
Acelegin; Well, he had to finish up his card game, but it shouldn't take him too much longer...
Ghost Papyrus; Wait, how do you know he was playing a card game?
Acelegin; I always know when people are playing card games. Oh, you should look out for those-
Ghost Papyrus; Damn it! Not the spikes again!
Acelegin; Ouch. Sorry, dude...
Ghost Papyrus; I think I'll just take a break...
Acelegin; Good idea. It helps to clear your head a bit.
Red Daniel enters, carrying a case of beer.
Red Daniel; Sorry for the delay. Had to put Greeny in his place. How Papyrus doing on the game?
Acelegin; He's improving. Slowly but surely.
Red Daniel; Cool. I'm gonna go insult people on twitter.
Acelegin; Have fun with that.
Alright! Time for another vote! What should Dank Memes do next?
A) Play another card game
B) Go to the moon
C) Enter a hot dog eating contest
Let me know in the comments what you guys think!