Monday, April 9, 2018

Living With Red Daniel Part 8; Shopping

Acelegin and Ghost Papyrus are sitting on the couch. Papyrus playing Sonic the Hedgehog, while Acelegin drinks beer and watches.

Ghost Papyrus; Argh! I died! And that was my last life.

Acelegin; That sucks, dude.

Ghost Papyrus; So now I have to start the entire game over again?

Acelegin; Yup.

Ghost Papyrus; How on Earth did you ever beat this game.

Acelegin; Well, I played the version on the PS2's Mega Collection. I had the option to save my state, which I exploited the hell out of.

Ghost Papyrus; Isn't that cheating?

Acelegin; You think I give a shit?

Suddenly, Red Daniel bursts through the front door.

Red Daniel; Papyrus! I need to borrow your car!

Acelegin turns to Papyrus, shocked.

Acelegin; You have a car!?

Ghost Papyrus; What do you need it for?

Red Daniel; I sort of ruined one of Alyssa's outfits, so now I have to buy her a new one...

Ghost Papyrus; Oh. Okay, sure. My keys are on the table over there.

Red Daniel; Thanks!

Red Daniel retrieves the keys and exits.

Ghost Papyrus; Wait, does he have a driver's license?

Acelegin; No. No he does not.

Later, at the mall.

Alyssa; Wow. You actually showed.

Red Daniel; Yeah, yeah. Let's get this over with. What store are we going to?

Alyssa; I don't know yet. Let's go browse a bit. I'll make up my mind later.

Red Daniel; Fine...

A few minutes pass in silence as Alyssa's looks at some different outfits. Red Daniel catches sight of Dank Memes passing by the store they're in and calls out to him.

Red Daniel; Yo! Dank!

Dank Memes; Huh? Oh, hey Red.

Red Daniel; What are you up to?

Dank Memes; Came here to do some light shopping. Maybe see if I can get a date this Friday,

Dank Memes notices Alyssa.

Dank Memes; Ah, speaking of dates, what are you guys up to?

Red Daniel; Not what you're thinking. I'm just here because I owe her clothes...

Dank Memes; Clothes?

Alyssa; He split a cherry daiquiri on one of my favorite outfits, and then tried to solve the problem with fire.

Red Daniel; Hey, scorched clothes are really in these days.

Dank Memes; That might explain all the slightly burnt t-shirts I've been seeing lately...

Alyssa; But yeah, He owes me some new clothes now.

Dank Memes; Well, I've got a bit of an eye for fashion. I could help you pick something out.

Alyssa; You're literally wearing a cat themed shirt right now...

Dank Memes; Hey! I make this look good, okay.

Meanwhile, back at Acelegin's apartment, Papyrus is continuing to struggle with Sonic the Hedgehog.

Acelegin; Hey, you made it to the Labyrinth zone. Good job. I've never got that far without save states.

Papyrus; But I'm down to my last life again! And I've only managed to get one of the Chaos Emeralds...

Acelegin; Don't worry, you're getting the hang of it. Just keep trying.

Acelegin stands up.

Acelegin; In the meantime, I'm gonna go get another beer.

Acelegin walks over to his mini-fridge, and on his way to open it, his eyes fall upon a book sitting on top of it.

Acelegin; This is Red's book, right?

Acelegin; picks the book up, examining the bookmark marking the last page Red Daniel had read.

Acelegin; Just what was in this thing that bothered him so much?

Acelegin holds the book in his hands for a couple minutes, debating whether or not to open it up to the marked page. In the end, though, he sighs and sets it back down.

Acelegin; Another time...

Ghost Papyrus; Damn it! I died again!

Meanwhile, Red Daniel, Alyssa, and Dank Memes are exiting the mall. Dank Memes and Alyssa are both carrying bags, while Red Daniel stares sadly into his much lighter wallet.

Red Daniel; Just had to get the most expensive one they had, huh?

Alyssa; Serves you right.

Red Daniel; Whatever. We're even now, right?

Alyssa; I'm still peeved with you, but yes. You're debt's repaid.

Dank Memes chuckles.

Alyssa; What's so funny.

Dank Memes; You two are cute together.

Red Daniel; You take that back, you son of a bitch.

Dank Memes; I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

Dank Memes pauses for a moment, staring at something in the distance.

Dank Memes; Uh, Red? Does that guy look kind of like... you? But with, like, a completely wrong color scheme.

Red Daniel follows Dank Meme's gaze, and lets out an exasperated sigh.

Red Daniel; Not this prick...

Green Daniel; Golly! Red! I wasn't expecting to run into you here!

Red Daniel; Hello, Green...

Green Daniel; Are these friends of yours?

Red Daniel; You could say that...

Alyssa; I'm... um... his coworker...

Red Daniel; Her name's Alyssa.

Green Daniel; Well, I'm pleased to meet you, miss Alyssa.

Alyssa; Um... Thanks. You too...

Green Daniel; And you are?

Dank Memes; I'm Dank Memes. I'm a dating sim protagonist.

Green Daniel; Is that why I find you weirdly attractive?

Dank Memes; I have that effect on people.

Red Daniel; So what brings you here?

Green Daniel; Oh, well... it's a little embarrassing, but...

Green Daniel shows some unopened packs of Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

Green Daniel; I was actually picking up some of these...

Dank Memes; Oh, you play too?

Red Daniel; Oh god, I'm surrounded by fucking nerds...

Alyssa; I used to play in Middle school, but it's been a long time since then.

Green Daniel; Hey, what do you say we have a quick game? There's four of us, so we could easily have a tag duel.

Red Daniel; Really? Is this what's happening in this post? I thought this was the shopping episode! Why is it going in this direction?

Dank Memes; I don't object. You've got a deck, right Red?

Red Daniel; I live with Acelegin; Of course I do.

Alyssa; I don't.

Green Daniel; I've got a spare I can lend you.

Green Daniel offers Alyssa a deck of cards.

Green Daniel; How would you like to be on my team, miss Alyssa?

Alyssa glances over at Red Daniel.

Alyssa; If it means I can embarrass this asshole, sure.

Red Daniel; I'm embarrassed that we're even doing this. Let's just get it over with.

Red Daniel presses a button on his watch, which then transforms into a duel disk. Duel disks also appear on the other's wrists.

Alyssa; You have a watch that gives everyone around you their own duel disk?

Red Daniel; Acelegin gave it to me. For some reason.

Green Daniel; Alright, let's establish some rules real quick. Each team shares 8000 life points. Red Daniel and I will start on the front line. Only the player on the front line can activae cards and effects, and only the front line will be affected by them. The order of turns will go Red, Alyssa, Dank, then me, then back to Red.

Red Daniel; So I go first then? Sounds good.

Red Daniel and Green Daniel stand across from each other. Everyone draws five cards for their starting hand.

Red Daniel; Alright. Let's go! For my first move, I normal summon Inferno Juggernaut!

A large soldier, dressed head to toe in silver and red armor, and wielding a giant flaming sword appears before Red Daniel. It is level 4, with 1900 attack points.

Red Daniel; And next, I activate the spell card, Tremendous Fire! This card deals 1000 damage to you, and 500 to me!

Red Daniel and Green Daniel are both engulfed in flames, and their life points drop to 7500 and 7000 respectively.

Red Daniel; I'll end my turn with that.

Green Daniel; Very well. Alyssa, you're up next.

Alyssa move to the front line, while Green Daniel steps back.

Alyssa; I'll start by drawing a card, then I summon Emerald Goliath!

A massive golem made of dark green stones appears. It is level 4 with 1800 attack points.

Alyssa; I'll now equip it with Axe Of Despair, increasing its attack power by 1000 points!

A monstrous looking axe appears in her monsters hand, and its attack power rises to 2800.

Alyssa; Now I'll attack your Inferno Juggernaut!

The Emerald Goliath swings its axe, and Red Daniel's monster raises its sword to defend itself.

Red Daniel; Once per turn, while in attack position, Inferno Juggernaut can survive one battle.

Red Daniel's life points drop to 6600.

Alyssa; Whenever Emerald Goliath deal battle damage, my opponent discards one card from their hand.

Red Daniel; Fine, whatever...

Red Daniel discards a card from his hand.

Alyssa; I set one card face down and end my turn.

Red Daniel; Alright, Dank. You're up.

Red Daniel steps back while Dank Memes moves to the front. Dank Memes draws a card.

Dank Memes; I'll start by tributing Red's Juggernaut to tribute summon Battle Triker!

A man in a white leather biking uniform and helmet, riding a three wheeled motorcycle appears on the field, replacing Red Daniel's Inferno Juggernaut. Its level 6, with 2300 attack points.

Red Daniel; Really? A "card games on motorcycles" joke?

Dank Memes; Trust me, I could have done a lot worse. Next, I play the quickplay spell card, Gold Romance Letter.

Alyssa; What does that do, exactly?

Dank Memes; Simple. I offer you a hug. If you accept, we both gain 1000 life points. If you refuse, we both discard three cards from the top of our decks.

Alyssa; Uh, sure. I'll accept. I don't see why not...

Dank Memes steps forward and gives Alyssa a hug. Both of their life points increase, with Alyssa's rising back to 8000 and Dank Memes becoming 7600. They then release each other and return to their respective spots.

Red Daniel; Nice job giving them back the points I took from them earlier...

Dank Memes; Calm down. It's just a game. Anyway, fo my next move, I'll use another quickplay spell, called Tailor Of The Fickle.

Alyssa; Oh shit...

Dank Memes; Ah, you're familiar with this one? It allows me to take that Axe Of Despair of yours, and equip it to my monster, instead.

The Axe Of Despair vanishes from Emerald Goliath's hand, reappearing in Battle Triker's grip. Battle Triker's attack rises to 3300, while Emerald Goliath's returns to 1800.

Dank Memes; Now, I'll have Battle Triker attack your Goliath!

Battle Triker revs up his trike, and charges at Emerald Goliath, swinging the Axe Of Despair.

Alyssa; I activate the trap card, Armor Of Virtue! After activating this card, I can equip it to a monster I control! And as long as it's equipped, it can't be destroyed in battle!

A soft green light surrounds Emerald Goliath, and it endures the hit. Alyssa's life points fall to 6500.

Dank Memes; Good play. But, I still have a trick left. Would you like to hear Battle Triker's effect?

Alyssa; What?

Dank Memes; You see, since I've activated two quickplay spells this turn since summoning him, he gains an additional attack. So, I can still hit you one more time.

Battle Triker swings its axe again, striking Emerald Goliath and bringing Alyssa's life points down to 5000.

Alyssa; Damn it...

Dank Memes; Sorry 'bout that. I'll go ahead and set two cards, then end my turn.

Green Daniel; In that case, I guess I'm up.

Dank Memes; Let's see what'cha got, Green.

Green Daniel moves to the front line and draws a card.

Dank Memes; Before you do anything else, I wanna go ahead and use one of my face-down cards. You cool with that?

Green Daniel; I suppose so. Go ahead.

Dank Memes; I think you'll like this one. I activate Green Romance Letter.

Green Daniel; Gosh. What does this one do?

Dank Memes; Once again, I offer my opponent a hug. Should you accept, we both draw a card. If you refuse, We both banish a card from our hand face-down.

Green Daniel; A free card for both of us? I see no reason to decline.

Dank Memes; All righty then. Come 'ere, you!

Green Daniel and Dank Memes approach each other and exchange a brief hug. They then break apart and return to their positions. Dank Memes looks at Red Daniel uneasily.

Red Daniel; (whispering) Something up.

Dank Memes; (whispering) He's missing something. Can't quite explain it.

Green Daniel and Dank Memes turn back to each other, and they each draw a card.

Green Daniel; Okay. First of all, I activate the spell card Arrow Of Virtue. Since your life points are higher than mine, I can deal you 1000 points of damage.

A green arrow falls from the sky, hitting Dank Memes and reducing his life points to 6600.

Red Daniel; There goes those life points you just gained...

Green Daniel; It's cool.

Green Daniel; Next, by sending a face up spell or trap I control to the graveyard, I special summon Celadon Fox.

The Armor Of Virtue surrounding Emerald Goliath vanishes, and a grayish-green fox appears before Green Daniel. It's level 5 with 1800 attack points.

Green Daniel; Next, I normal summon Jade Sparrow.

A small green bird appears on Green Daniel's field. It's level one, with 200 attack.

Green Daniel; When this card is summoned, I can inflict 300 damage to my opponent's life points for each monster I control. That's three right now, so you take 900 damage.

Dank Memes life points fall to 5700.

Green Daniel; Next, I use Celadon Fox's effect. At the cost of 500 life points, I can deal you 300 damage for every monster currently in play. That's currently four, adding up to 1200.

Both of their life points fall to 4500.

Green Daniel; Then I play the spell card Scroll Of Awakening. If the total levels of every monster I control is ten or higher, I can pay 500 life points to add one card from my deck to my hand.

Green Daniel's life points drop to 4000.

Green Daniel; The card I'll be adding to my hand is the ritual spell card Devotion To Virtue.

Red Daniel; A ritual spell?

Green Daniel; I'll now activate it. So by tributing the level four Emerald Goliath, the level one Jade Sparrow, and the level 5 Celadon Fox, I can now ritual summon the level ten, Paladin Of Virtue!

A knight in gleaming green armor appears on Green Daniel's field. It stands tall with a mighty 3000 attack points.

Green Daniel; When this monster is ritual summoned, it allows me to destroy any spell or trap card in play. I'll use this effect to target Axe Of Despair!

The Axe Of Despair shatters, and Battle Triker's attack points return to 2300.

Green Daniel; I'll now have my monster attack! And any monster it battles loses attack equal to its own level times 100!

The Paladin Of Virtue lunges at Battle Triker. Battle Triker's attack falls to 1700, and Paladin Of Virtue's blade cleaves it in two. Dank Memes life points are reduced to 3200.

Dank Memes; Geez, just how many effects does that thing have?

Green Daniel; Gosh, it has quite a few, actually. But I'll leave the rest of them a mystery for now. I end my turn.

Red Daniel steps forward.

Red Daniel; Alright, it's you and me then. I draw!

Red Daniel looks a the card he drew, disappointment flashing across his face.

Red Daniel; A monster might've been nice. Oh well. I play another copy of Tremendous Fire!

Red Daniel's life points fall to 2700, while Green Daniel's fall to 3000.

Red Daniel; Alright, now how do I deal with this fucking paladin?

Suddenly, Red Daniel's phone goes off. He answers it to hear Acelegin speaking.

Acelegin; Red, I need you to come back soon. It's urgent.

Red Daniel; What's up? Are you under attack? How bad is it?

Acelegin; I'm out of beer.

Red Daniel; Oh god! The worst of all possible fates has befallen you! I'll be back ASAP!

Red Daniel hangs up and turns back to Green Daniel.

Red Daniel; Hey, uh, can we maybe postpone this thing a bit? I gotta go a beer run for Ace.

Green Daniel; Uh, I guess we can call it a draw for now, if you need to.

Dank Memes stands watching, as a pair of choices appear before him. The first choice says "Let him go", while the second one says "Finish the game". Dank Memes hesitates for a second, before selecting the second option.

Dank Memes; Hey, why not finish your turn, at least? Ace can wait a couple extra minutes, right?

Red Daniel; Huh? Well, there's really much I can do here...

Dank Memes; You've still got my remaining face down, don't you?

Red Daniel; Huh? Oh Right! I activate whatever the hell Dank set earlier!

The card Dank Memes had set earlier activates.

Green Daniel; What is this, exactly?

Dank Memes; This is my Red Romance Letter. Allow me to recite its effect for you all.

Dank Memes clears his throat.

Dank Memes; "Target one face-up monster on the field, then offer your opponent a kiss on the lips. If they accept, destroy the targeted monster, and all face-up monsters with equal or lower attack than it. If they refuse, both player take damage equal to the attack of the targeted monster."

Green Daniel raises an eyebrow and looks at Dank Memes.

Green Daniel; So, you want me to kiss you?

Dank Memes; Me? No, of course not. I didn't activate the card.

Green Daniel's eyes widen in shock as he looks at Red Daniel. Red Daniel smirks.

Red Daniel; So, how 'bout it, big boy? Care to pucker up for me?

A viridian fire burns in Green Daniel's eyes as he narrows them.

Green Daniel; I refuse.

The Red Romance Letter begins glowing crimson.

Green Daniel; I guess this ends in a draw, then.

Red Daniel; Not quite...

Green Daniel; What?

Red Daniel; Remember when Alyssa forced me to discard a card? Well, now I'm gonna activate it's effect.

Alyssa; Wait, what?

Red Daniel; I banish Red Kuriboh from my graveyard to negate the damage I would take from this effect!

A little red ball of fluff appears before Red Daniel to protect him. The Red Romance Letter explodes, reducing Green Daniel's life points to zero, while Red Kuriboh Protects Red Daniel's remaining life points.

Red Daniel; This is the second time I've beat you, Green.

Green Daniel chuckles.

Green Daniel; Golly, it sure is. But, you know what they say. Third times he charm!

Red Daniel turns, and begins walking away.

Red Daniel; We'll see about that.

Alyssa and Dank Memes both join Red Daniel as he walks.

Dank Memes; This was fun. We should hang out more.

Red Daniel; Come by the bar sometime. I'll hook you up with a discount.

Dank Memes; Sounds good. I'll see you two around.

Dank Memes turns and begins walking away. Alyssa stares at him for a few seconds as he leaves.

Alyssa; He really does look good in that shirt...

Meanwhile, back at Acelegin's apartment.

Ghost Papyrus; I'm so close to beating the Scrap Brain Zone! Ace, what do I do next?

Acelegin; I dunno. It's been years since I played this zone.

Ghost Papyrus; But I'm on my last life again! If I screw this up, I have o start back from the beginning again!

Acelegin; Yeah, well, old school games can be fucking cruel. You just have to live with it.

Ghost Papyrus; This sucks... So when is Red getting back, anyway?

Acelegin; Well, he had to finish up his card game, but it shouldn't take him too much longer...

Ghost Papyrus; Wait, how do you know he was playing a card game?

Acelegin; I always know when people are playing card games. Oh, you should look out for those-

Ghost Papyrus; Damn it! Not the spikes again!

Acelegin; Ouch. Sorry, dude...

Ghost Papyrus; I think I'll just take a break...

Acelegin; Good idea. It helps to clear your head a bit.

Red Daniel enters, carrying a case of beer.

Red Daniel; Sorry for the delay. Had to put Greeny in his place. How Papyrus doing on the game?

Acelegin; He's improving. Slowly but surely.

Red Daniel; Cool. I'm gonna go insult people on twitter.

Acelegin; Have fun with that.

Alright! Time for another vote! What should Dank Memes do next?

A) Play another card game

B) Go to the moon

C) Enter a hot dog eating contest

Let me know in the comments what you guys think!

Monday, March 12, 2018

Living with Red Daniel Part 7; Lights Out

Acelegin; ACHOO!!!

Red Daniel; Whoa! You okay, dude?

Acelegin; Woke up with a cold this morning. Had to call in sick to work.

Red Daniel; Man, that sucks. Speaking of work, I should probably get out of here before I catch any of that.

Ghost Papyrus; But weren't you telling us the other day that you have super human immunity?

Ghost Sans; Yeah. A cold wouldn't affect you, would it?

Red Daniel; I'm immune to STDs and a handful of other diseases. But no one is safe from the common cold. That includes ghosts, by the way. You two should leave to.

Later, at Sal's

Sal; Okay, everyone! I'm planning to close up early tonight, so get your cleaning does.

Alyssa; Yes, sir.

Red Daniel; You got it, boss!

Red Daniel goes to retrieve the cleaning supplies, but before he reaches them, the lights suddenly die, casting the bar into pitch blackness.

Alyssa; EEK!

Sal sighs, and lights his lighter to provide a small bit of light.

Sal; That's odd. Something must be up with the power...

Alyssa looks around a bit, and her eyes fall on a dark figure in he shadows. Fear overtakes her, and she stumbles backwards, crying out in fright.

Red Daniel; Relax! It's just me! I'm just using my scary eyes for light.

Alyssa; Can you not? You damn near gave me a heart attack!

Red Daniel; Well, I'd have used a lighter, but I'm way to lazy to reach into my pocket right now.

Sal; Enough, you two. Alyssa, help me get some candles going for now. Red, go check the breakers. See if you can get things working.

Red Daniel; On it.

Red Daniel leave the room, entering the cellar. His glowing eyes provide enough light for him see a few feet in front of him as he walks over to the breaker box. He opens it up and flips the main breaker a couple time, but the power remains off.

Red Daniel; Damn. What could be...

Red Daniel's eyes scan the cords extending from the box, and notices that the cords have been sliced through.

Red Daniel; Huh. That's not right...

Red Daniel hears a scuffling noise behind him, and turns to face it, only for things to go silent again. He can't see much in his limited field of vision.

Red Daniel; In most other bars, I'd chalk this up to a rodent problem. However, Sal's pretty damn thorough when it comes to pest control.

Red Daniel steps forward.

Red Daniel; Why don't you show yourself before I force you to come out.

A voice suddenly sounds softly in Red Daniel's ear from behind.

?????; That might be harder than you think.

Red Daniel spins around, striking at the space behind him, only to find no one there. Red Daniel scoffs, drawing a switchblade from his pocket.

Red Daniel; Fine then. I don't mind things getting hard.

Back upstairs, Sal and Alyssa continue lighting candles around the bar, making it a bit easier to see around the place.

Alyssa; Um... boss?

Sal; What is it?

Alyssa; Do you feel like... someone's watching us?

Sal sighs.

Sal; You shouldn't have said anything...

Alyssa; Wait, did you know/

Sal; Yes.

Sal's eyes scan the shadows around them. While he can't see anything there, he can feel some kind of presence around them.

Sal; And now they know we know. That could complicate things.

Back down in the cellar, Red Daniel paces around, searching for whoever he had heard before.

Red Daniel; How long do you think you can hide?

The sound of chuckling echoes round the room.

Red Daniel; Fuckin' peachy... Just who the hell are you?

?????; Wouldn't you like to know.

Red Daniel; I would. So why don't you tell me?

The strange voice remains silent.

Red Daniel; So what was the point of cutting our power? You got beef with Sal, or did someone put you up to this?

?????; Sal? Who cares about him? I'm more curious about you.

Red Daniel forces his eyes to glow brighter, but he's still unable to find the source of the voice.

Red Daniel; There's easier ways to ask a man out, you know. You're coming off a little creepy here.

?????; That's...not why I'm here...

Red Daniel; Why don't you come out and talk to me face to face, if you find me so interesting?

The voice doesn't reply.

Red Daniel; You know what? Fuck it. Two can play this game.

Red Daniel vanishes from the real world, reappearing in an almost identical one. The room looks the same, but everything has a dark blue, almost black color to it. Twinkling red lights occasionally flicker in and out of existence. Now in a better lit environment, Red Daniel can now see the man, standing close to one of the walls, looking around, confused. Red Daniel grinned. In he world he was now in, he could see what was going on in the physical world without being seen himself.

Red Daniel; Looks like the tables are turned, jackass.

Back in the room above, Sal and Alyssa stand near the center of the room, scanning the shadows.

Alyssa; Who do you think it is?

Sal; No idea. Just keep your eyes peeled in case you see anything.

Sal pauses for a second, sensing a shift in Red Daniel's energy.

Sal; What on Earth is he doing down there?

Alyssa; What's holding him up? It shouldn't take this long to check on a breaker.

Sal; I'm sure he's got it under control. But he'd better not break anything down there...

Down below, Red Daniel approaches the man, getting a good look at him. He seemed inhuman. The left half of his face was just pitch black, as if made of darkness. The mans right arm and the fingers of his left hand seemed to be that same. His short hair was seemingly composed of thousands of shadowy tendrils.

Red Daniel; Just what the fuck is this guy?

The man, still confused about where Red Daniel had gone, stepped backwards into the wall and seemed to fuse with it, as if becoming a living shadow. He moved along the wall, moving to the other side of the room.

Red Daniel; So that's how he keeps himself hidden.

The man re-emerges from the wall, and Red Daniel calmly approaches him, knife in hand. he man continues looking around, unable to find Red Daniel.

Red Daniel; Gotcha...

Red Daniel steps back into the physical world, slashing at the mans chest. Blood, and what seems almost like black ink, oozes from he wound. The man quickly covers it up, and stares at Red Daniel in shock.

Red Daniel; Hey, handsome.

The man turns and rushes to the stairs. Red Daniel chases after him. The man gets to the top of the stairs and runs directly to the exit.

Alyssa; Who the hell is hat?

The man runs past Alyssa and Sal and runs out the door, only to bump into Acelegin on the other side. They both fall to the ground. The man takes a look at Acelegin and panics, immediately melting into the ground and fleeing before Acelegin can get a good look at him. Pulling himself together a bit, Acelegin stares at the spot the man had just been.

Acelegin; Was that...? You know what, fuck it! I'm to sick for any supernatural BS right now.

Red Daniel and Sal reach the door and look down at Acelegin.

Red Daniel; Ace? What are you doing here?

Acelegin; Came to talk to Sal. You got that ginger stuff I called about.

Sal reaches into his coat and pulls out a bottle, handing it to Acelegin. Acelegin get up and takes it.

Sal; It'll work wonders for a soar throat, and should help with the sinuses too. But it's strong, so you should wait until you're home. Wouldn't want you knocking yourself out in the middle of the street. 

Acelegin; Got it. So what happened here? Why are the lights off?

Red Daniel; Just a power outage. Don't worry about it.

Acelegin; Whatever. I'd better get going.

Red Daniel; See ya.

Acelegin leaves.

Sal; So who was that shadowy guy?

Red Daniel; Don't know, but I'll be ready for him if he tries this shit again.

Sal; Whoever he was, he took all those presences I felt earlier with him. So what's the damage exactly?

Red Daniel; He sliced the cords. Not much I can do to fix that.

Sal sighs. 

Sal; We'll just have to clean up with the candlelight. I'll see what I can do about power in the morning...

Later on, in a mysterious room, two men in brown, hooded coats stand in front of a wall covered in tv screens. One of the men has white markings on his clothing, and he other has green markings. The darkness of the room keeps their features hidden. The man with the green markings speaks first.

Hooded Man #1; Turn them on. Let's see if he got the job done.

Hooded Man #2; Sure thing.

Hooded Man #2 flips a switch, and several of the screens light up, displaying Sal's bar, from a number of different angles, as well as the cellar, storage, and kitchen areas.

Hooded Man #1; So he actually got the job done.

The shadow man emerges from the floor behind them, his chest now fully healed.

Shadow Man; You mean to say you doubted me?

Hooded Man #2; I personally thought you could do it, but my friend here was a little skeptical.

Hooded Man #1; That's unimportant now. What matters is you succeeded. You may go now. We'll let you know if we require any more assistance.

As the Shadow Man turns to leave, Hooded Man #2 stops him for a moment.

Hooded Man #2; There's blood on your clothing. What happened.

Shadow Man; That Red guy got the jump on me for a second. He's more clever than I was expecting.

Hooded Man #1 chuckles, and turns to the cameras, watching Red Daniel scrub the floors, completely oblivious to the cameras watching his every move.

Hooded Man #1; Not clever enough, I'm afraid.

Suddenly, the Shadow Man lets out a loud sneeze.

Shadow Man; ACHOO!

Hooded Man #2; Um, you alright.

Shadow Man; I seem to have caught a cold. God damn it...

Monday, February 26, 2018

Living With Red Daniel Part 6; The Woods

Acelegin; Okay, Red. I need you to run an errand for me.

Red Daniel; Okay. What do you need?

Acelegin; I need you to go to the Dollar General for me.

Red Daniel; Okay.

Acelegin; And while you're there, I need you to pick up some toilet paper and a hair dryer.

Red Daniel; Got it. Toilet paper and hair dryer.

Acelegin; Don't forget.

Red Daniel; I won't, I won't! But why can't you go yourself?

Acelegin straps his sword across his back.

Acelegin; Sal wants to spar with me, so I'm gonna be a bit busy today.

Red Daniel; Cool. Ask him about my schedule for me, alright?

Acelegin; Fine, whatever.

Later, outside Sal's.

Acelegin; Alright, you ready?

Sal draws his sword.

Sal; Sure am. You?

Acelegin draws his sword as well.

Acelegin; Sure thing. But why do you wanna spar so badly?

Sal; Need to hone my skills somehow.

Acelegin; Alright. Let's get started.

Acelegin and Sal get into fighting stances, but before they can begin, Acelegin suddenly vanishes.

Sal; Wait, what the...

Sal sands motionless for a few seconds, perplexed.

Sal; God damn it! Now who am I supposed to spar with!?

Meanwhile, Acelegin reappears in a dark, heavily wooded area.

Acelegin; What?

Acelegin glances around, unsure of where he is.

Acelegin; God damn it! Hate when this happens...

Meanwhile, back in town, Red Daniel is on his way to the store, repeating the items his was asked to purchase in order to keep them in his memory.

Red Daniel; Toilet paper and hair dryer. Toilet paper and hair dryer. Toilet paper and hair dryer.

As he walks, a couple of cute girls walk past him in the opposite direction. He becomes momentarily distracted as he watches them pass.

Red Daniel; Toilet dryer and hair paper...

Red Daniel pauses for a moment.

Red Daniel; What store was I going to again?

Back in the woods, Acelegin is wandering around looking for a way out. He has his sword drawn in order to cut through any vines or bushes that might get in his way.

Acelegin; How the fuck did I wind up here? Ugh. There's gotta be a way out somewhere.

After several minutes of walking, Acelegin encounters a beautiful woman, dressed in a black silk gown, with flowing blonde hair even longer than she is tall. Her hair seems to float somewhat, not touching the ground at all.

Acelegin; Um.. hi...

The girl chuckles and beckons Acelegin to follow her. She then weightlessly glides into the distance.

Acelegin; Damn it. Why can't I talk to girls...

Acelegin pulls himself together and begins chasing after her.

Acelegin; Wait up! Do you know a way out of here?

Meanwhile, outside of a Home Depot.

Red Daniel; Here we are! Home Depot! I'm sure they'll have... whatever it is I was looking for...

Red Daniel enters that store and begins his blind search. After of few minutes, he accidentally bumps shoulders with a man with shaggy, mousy brown hair, dressed in a leather coat over a navy blue hoody. Red Daniel turns to the man, annoyed.

Red Daniel; Hey! Watch where you're going, bro!

The man stops and looks at Red Daniel with his stunningly bright green eyes. He addresses Red Daniel in a British accent.

Man; Sorry, mate. But from where I'm standing, this encounter seems like your fault.

Red Daniel grits his teeth.

Man; Now, if you'll excuse me, I've shopping to attend to.

The man turns away and begins walking off. Red Daniel racks his brain for a few seconds before calling after him.

Red Daniel; I know you!

The man stops in his tracks.

Man; Do you, now?

Red Daniel; Ben Malkator, right?

The man chuckles, and turns to Red Daniel.

Malkator; So you have met me before. Might I ask where?

Red Daniel; Back in my original universe I got thrown into a crazy death tournament. You were my semi-final opponent.

Malkator; Oh really?

Red Daniel grins.

Red Daniel; I mopped the floor with you.

Malkator grins as well. His pupils expand, eclipsing his green irises.

Malkator; Well then. That iteration of me must've been pretty damn inexperienced to lose to a bloke like you.

Red Daniel; I doubt this iteration of you could do much better.

Malkator; Well I say. That's not a challenge, is it?

Red Daniel; It just might be.

Malkaor's expression becomes serious.

Malkator; I promise you. If you go through with this, it won't end well for you.

Red Daniel takes a fighting stance.

Red Daniel; I'll take those odds.

Malkator also takes a fighting stance.

Malkator; Don't say I didn't warn you.

Red Daniel and Malkator charge a each other. Red Daniel throws a right hook, that Malkator easily blocks before getting in several close jabs to Red Daniel's torso. Red Daniel manages to push Malkator away and then aims a thrust kick at Malkator's midsection. Malkator vanishes before the kick connects, and as Red Daniel's eyes widen in surprise, Malkator reappears behind Red Daniel and hits him with a swift side kick to his kidney. Red Daniel stumbles forward before straightening up and turning back to Malkator, grinning.

Red Daniel; Thank you, daddy. Got any more of that in you?

Malkator cringes a little.

Malkator; I got plenty. How 'bout you?

Red Daniel; Oh-ho-ho. I'm just gettin' started.

Malkator tightens his fighting stance.

Malkator; Well then, Daniel Xavier Ferris, shall we continue?

Red Daniel chuckles, returning to his own stance.

Red Daniel; Please. Call me Red.

Meanwhile, back in the woods, the woman comes to a stop in a wide clearing. Acelegin catches up shortly after.

Acelegin; So, where is this place exactly? Are you gonna answer any of my questions?

The woman sits down, smiling, nd gestures for Acelegin to join her.

Acelegin; Um, I think I'll just... stay over here for now...

The woman parts her lips and speaks a single word in a hushed voice.

Woman; Come...

Acelegin; Look, it's empting, but we just met. I don' even know your name. And...

Acelegin rests his sword on his shoulder and glares at the woman.

Acelegin; This is clearly some kind of trick.

The woman hangs her head, and floats limply into the air. The space behind her starts rippling, as a creature seems to materialize there.

Acelegin; What in the hell?

A massive mosquito-like creature towers over Acelegin. The woman dangles from a tentacle attached to the back of her head, linking her to the creature's forehead.

Acelegin; She's a lure?

The creature stabs its proboscis at Acelegin, who manages to deflect it with his sword. Acelegin runs to the side, trying to gain some distance. The creature swings its lure at Acelegin, and the woman's hands morph into giant mantis claws as she lets out a shriek and attacks Acelegin with them. Acelegin parries blocks her with his sword.

Acelegin; Oh come on! That's not fair!

Meanwhile, at the Home Depot, Red Daniel and Malkator continue their fight. Malkator lands a strong hit on Red Daniel's ribcage, breaking a few of his ribs. Red Daniel steps back, chuckling.

Red Daniel; Heh. You're pretty good.

Malkator; That makes one of us.

Red Daniel's blood repositions his broken ribs and fuses them back together.

Malkator; So you've got healing powers.

Red Daniel; You noticed? That's pretty observant.

Malkator; You have no idea...

The two begin fighting again. Malkator dodges some of Red Daniel's attacks and catches his arm in a vice grip. He shifts his weight and hurls Red Daniel into a nearby shelf. Some nails embed themselves in Red Daniel's arm. Red Daniel picks himself back up and turns to face Malkator, smiling.

Red Daniel; Bad idea making me bleed, buddy.

Malkator; Is it now?

Red Daniel yanks he nails from his arm. His blood rapidly expands and crystalizes into several large, jagged shards.

Red Daniel; Take this, jackass!

Red Daniel launches the shards a Malkator. Malkator casually dodges them all, and grabs one as it flies past and charges at Red Daniel, smashing it over his head. A sword of crystalized blood forms in Red Daniel's hand, which he swings at Malkator. Malkator continues dodging the blade and lands a few punches on Red Daniel's midsection. Red Daniel swing his sword again, but Malkator vanishes and reappears a few feet away. Malkator rolls up his right sleeve as Red Daniel forms more crystal shards.

Malkator; More of these, eh?

The shards surround Malkator from all angles.

Red Daniel; Dodge this!

Red Daniel sends them all flying at Malkator, who vanishes again. Malkator reappears behind Red Daniel. A red blade made of chitin grows from Malkator's forearm, and he slashes Red Daniel across the back with it. Red Daniel's blood hardens in time to stop most of the damage.

Red Daniel; Son of a bitch!

Red Daniel turns sharply, and clashes blades with Malkator. He swings his crystal sword repeatedly, as Malkator continues blocking with his arm blade. Red Daniel's assault slows down a bit as fatigue sets in. Malkator notices this, and draws his arm back o counter attack. He slashes at Red Daniel, shattering his crystal sword. Red Daniel's eyes widen in surprise before Malkator kicks him hard in the chest, sending him crashing to the ground, several feet away.

Malkator; Had enough yet?

Between pants, Red Daniel lets out a soft laugh.

Red Daniel; I could go all day.

Red Daniel rises to his feet, wiping some blood away from his mouth.

Red Daniel; But first, I got a question for you, pal.

Malkator; And what would that be?

Red Daniel closes his eyes, falling silent. He opens his eyes again. His eyes are now glowing with a deep, crimson light.

Red Daniel; Why the fuck are you still holding back?

Malkator snickers at that comment, as he rolls up his other sleeve.

Malkator; I could ask the same thing.

A second blade sprouts from Malkator's other arm, and a set of large wings grow from his back. Two smaller blades, almost like horns, grow from his forehead, and his black pupils grow even larger, enveloping his eyes entirely. Red Daniel's body is engulfed in red light, and his hair and clothes begin waving as if in wind. The wo charge at each other once more.

Back in the clearing, Acelegin continues to fight for his life against the mosquito and its lure.

Acelegin; What the fuck even is this thing!?

Acelegin manages to block more of the lure's blows, and lands a cut on one its collarbones. He darts behind it, and prepares to stab it from behind. Before he can, its hair entangles his arm and twists hard, causing him o drop his sword.

Acelegin; Ah! What the hell?

More of its hair entangles the rest of his limbs, and lifts him helplessly into the air.

Acelegin; Shit!

The mosquito stands upright, prepared to impale Acelegin on its proboscis. Another figure suddenly falls from the sky, slashing through the lure's hair with a katana. Acelegin falls to the ground, as the lure les out a blood curdling scream. The mosquito emits a low sound almost like a cry of rage.

The new figure lands on the ground next to Acelegin. He lowers the hood of his longcoat, revealing himself to be another Daniel. He has long hair, and his skin seems paler than normal.

The mosquito lets out another noise, stabbing its proboscis at the new Daniel, who calmly steps aside, causing the proboscis to stab into a tree, becoming stuck there.

Mystery Daniel; Nice stinger.

The new Daniel raises his katana, which begins glowing white.

Mystery Daniel; Here's mine.

The blade of the katana rapidly extends, piercing one of the creature's multifaceted eyes. It's lets out a pained screech and pulls its proboscis from the tree. It spreads its wings and flees, leaving Acelegin and the Daniel alone. Acelegin brushes the severed hairs, that seem to be bleeding, away from him and stands up.

Acelegin; Long time no see, Dark. Your complexion's looking better.

Dark Daniel ignores Acelegin's comment. His katana returns to it's normal length, and he slides it back into its sheath.

Acelegin; So I guess you can control the Devil Killer mutations, now?

Dark Daniel; For the most part. It wasn't easy.

Acelegin; I like the new coat.

Dark Daniel; I needed a new one. But that's besides the point. What the hell are you doing here?

Acelegin; Dunno. Teleported here somehow. You?

Dark Daniel remains quiet for a few seconds before speaking.

Dark Daniel; I came here to train.

Acelegin; Okay. So where are we, anyway?

Dark Daniel; The Dreadwoods. Not somewhere normal people should be coming to. That Stealth Mosquito you just saw is one of the friendlier things one can fall victim to around here.

Acelegin; Well, in that case, it would sure be great if I knew the way out.

Dark Daniel sighs.

Dark Daniel; Fine. If I et you back home, will you agree to stay the hell away from this place?

Acelegin; Uh, sure. But could you bring me to Sal's, instead?

Dark Daniel; Whatever.

Acelegin retrieves his sword as Dark Daniel grabs him by the shoulder.

Dark Daniel; Brace yourself. This'll hurt a bit.

The two of them disappear, and then reappear outside of Sal's. Acelegin collapses in pain.

Acelegin; Holy shit! It feels like my bones are on fire!

Dark Daniel shrugs.

Dark Daniel; Take's some getting used to.

Acelegin; Yeah, no shit!

Acelegin rises to his feet, brushing himself off.

Acelegin; I'm glad Red's not here to make a "first time" joke.

Sal; Ace! Where the hell did you go?

Dark Daniel; Idiot got himself lost in the Dreadwoods. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd rather not stick around here any longer then I have to. The ore distance there is between me and that Red creep, the better.

Dark Daniel vanishes.

Acelegin; Sorry about all that. It too late to pick up where we left off?

Sal; Another time. You look beat.

Acelegin; Yeah. Today was... intense. I should head home.

Sal; Alright. See you later.

Back at the Home Depot, the powered up Red Daniel and Malkator resume their fight. Malkator slashes downward with one of his arm blades, but Red Daniel blocks it with one of his arms. The blade doesn't harm him at all. Malkator attempts to stab Red Daniel with his other blade, but Red Daniel catches it with his free hand and tries to kick Malkator, who teleports away and reappears behind Red Daniel, attempting another slash. Red Daniel blocks it again and releases a pulse of red light from his body, knocking Malkator backward. He then raises a hand and fires a beam of red light at Malkator, who teleports upwards, away from the blast.

Malkator; So you were hiding this much power. I'm impressed.

Malkator spreads his wings wider and readies his blades.

Malkator; Not impressed enough to back down, though!

Malkator charges at Red Daniel, arm pulled back nd ready to strike. Red Daniel calmly raises a hand up to Malkator's face as he gets close, and Malkator freezes for a split second, surprised by this.

Red Daniel; Drown.

Red light flows into Malkator's eyes, and he clasps his head in his hands as a memory surfaces. He sees himself, as a young boy, on his knees, weeping. There are scratch marks on his face, and dirt on his clothing. In front of him is a girl, not much older than himself. There are dark bruises around her throat, and blood on her finger nails. She lays lifeless in the grass in front of him. Another boy enters the scene, looking at what had happened. He sees he girl. He sees the bruises on her throat and the blood on her nails. He sees the scratches on young Malkator's face. His eyes light up with fury, and he charges a young Malkator.

Malkator; NO!!!

Malkator snaps out of the illusion, and kicks Red Daniel hard in the chest, sending him flying away.

Malkator; I won't be broken by guilt! Not again.

Red Daniel rises to his feet, only weakened slightly, and grins.

Red Daniel; Still got fight in you after that? Good. I was worried you might have a conscious.

Malkator growls through his teeth and whispers to himself.

Malkator; Damn him! That aura of his is messing with my vision. I can barely predict his actions any more.

Malkator's arm blades are engulfed in silver light.

Red Daniel; Oh?

Malkator; I'll just have to up my game a bit more!

Malkator glides closer to Red Daniel, and he two continue trading blows. Red Daniel releases another pulse of light, which Malkator manages to teleport away from. Red Daniel charges a blast of light in one hand. Malkator swings one of his arm blades through the air, sending of wave of silver energy at Red Daniel, who fires his own attack at the same time. The two attacks pass by each other and connect with their targets. Both Red Daniel and Malkator are knocked to the ground by the blasts. The silver light around Malkator's arm blades fade, and Red Daniel's aura begins flickering. The two of them slowly get back to their feet, panting heavily.

Red Daniel; Heh. Looks like you're getting a bit worn out heir, buddy.

Malkator; Speak for yourself, mate. You can barely hold that aura of yours together right now.

Red Daniel; Don't kid yourself. I got enough juice left to finish you off.

Malkator; Heh. Well, I still got aa trick left too.

Red Daniel; Oh really? Let's see, then.

Malkator unzips his hoody, exposing a large, vertical mouth on his torso, extending from his collar bones down to his navel, filled with jagged, crimson teeth.

Red Daniel; Whoa! I got a thing for vore, but that's fucking weird, bro.

Malkator; Well, wow do you feel about bondage?

Red Daniel; Well, actually, I'm a pretty big fan of- HRRK!!!

Red Daniel is instantly silenced, as a long, black, prehensile tongue zooms out of the mouth on Malkator's chest, and wraps itself around Red Daniel's throat. It tightens with immense strength and hoists Red Daniel into to the air. Red Daniel's aura vanishes.

Malkator; What's the matter?

Eight more tongues shoot out, grabbing Red Daniel by the wrists, ankles, knees and elbows.

 Malkator; Thought you were a fan.

The tongues pull hard on Red Daniel's limbs, stretching them as a rack would. Red Daniel gasps in pain as his joints pop, and his blood begins hardening around the area's, desperately trying to hold his body together.

Malkator; I think it's time to end this.

Malkator begins slamming Red Daniel against the nearby shelves and floors repeatedly, before tossing him into the air like a ragdoll. He then teleports above Red Daniel and grabs him by the throat. Silver light bursts out from behind Malkator, propelling them both downward, where Malkator slams Red Daniel with all his force into the floor, creating a huge crater. Malkator weakly rises to his fee, staring down at Red Daniel's barely conscious figure.

Malkator; You know, I foresaw this. I even warned you. But you were just too stubborn to listen. Maybe next time, you listen.

Malkator turns and begins walking away.

Malkator; Hurry and flip on that healing factor of yours and be on your way. We're done here.

Later on, at Acelegin's apartment.

Acelegin; Ah. Finally. Back at home, with my junk food, my booze, and my videos.

Pounce; Meow!

Acelegin; Uh, yeah, and you too, I guess...

Red Daniel enters.

Red Daniel; Yo! Ace! I got the things you asked for!

Acelegin; Oh! You actually did?

Red Daniel; Yep! Sandpaper and a cement dryer!

Acelegin stares blankly at Red Daniel for a couple seconds.

Acelegin; Why do I ask things of you?

Red Daniel shrugs.

Red Daniel; You look like shit. Was sparring that intense?

Acelegin's eyes dart to the side awkwardly.

Acelegin; There was a... um... bug...

Red Daniel; A bug?

Acelegin; It was pretty big...

Red Daniel; You squash it?

Acelegin; Uh, yeah! Of course...

Acelegin chuckles nervously.

Acelegin; It was just a bug! A big, stupid bug...

Acelegin examines Red Daniel's batter body and torn clothing.

Acelegin; What about you? You get a fight?

Red Daniel's eyes dart to the side as well.

Red Daniel; Oh, just some British punk...

Acelegin; Who one?

Red Daniel; Um... I did! Duh! Who do you think I am? You should see the other guy...

Acelegin; Okay, cool. I'm gonna go to the store and get the toilet paper and hair dryer that you completely fuck up buying.

Red Daniel; Hey, the things I got can serve the same function if you're brave enough!

Acelegin; Yeah, no. Go take a shower. You look like you were in a train wreck.

Red Daniel; Ugh, fine, mom.

Monday, February 12, 2018

Living With Red Daniel Part 5; The Game

Red Daniel; Okay, here's my pitch! You and I re-enact The Passion Of The Christ.

Acelegin; Neither of us have seen that movie.

Red Daniel; Well, everyone know the J man's story. It can't be that hard to pull off.

Acelegin; This sounds like it would turn out horribly offensive.

Red Daniel; Eh. Probably. What do you care, you're agnostic.

Acelegin; It's a bad idea, dude. Maybe rethink it a little.

Red Daniel; Fine, fine. By the way, I'm gonna have some of the other Daniel's over for a poker game.

Acelegin; Which Daniel's specifically?

Red Daniel; Well, Enhanced Daniel will be here.

Acelegin; You mean Breaker?

Red Daniel; Yeah, yeah, whatever we're calling him now. Then Sentinal's coming.

Acelegin; Didn't he eat you once?

Red Daniel; Eh. It's in the past. And the last one coming along is Green Daniel.

Acelegin; Wait, there's a Green Daniel?

Red Daniel shrugs.

Acelegin; Whatever. I'm going to the bar with Sans. Enjoy your night off.

Red Daniel; Sure thing, dude.

Acelegin; And don't forget the accords.

Red Daniel; Trust me. We'll play nice.

Later that night

Red Daniel; Alright! Beer's cold, snacks are ready, followed Ace's bean dip recipe. We're good to go!

The doorbell rings.

Red Daniel; Oh good! Someone's here!

Red Daniel answers the door. A man almost identical to him stands on the other side. He short, dark brown hair, styles into spikes. His eyes are the same shade of brown, and the right corner of his mouth is badly scarred. He's dressed in black Kevlar clothes, with a metal staff across his back.

Red Daniel; Enhanced Breaker Dude! How you been?

Breaker Hey, Red. Anyone else shown up yet?

Red Daniel Naw, still waiting.

Breaker; Ah. I see.

Behind Red Daniel, a violet rift opens up and another Daniel steps through. He has short hair and purple eyes, and purple markings run down his face. He's dressed in a black shirt and jeans, with a purple longcoat. He grins a Red Daniel and Breaker. Breaker's eyes narrow.

Breaker; Sentinal.

Sentinal; Breaker! Red! It's been so long!

Red Daniel; Ugh, your color scheme sucks.

Sentinal; Speak for yourself, Captain Crimson.

Sentinal locks eyes with Breaker.

Sentinal; I see you came armed.

Breaker; Just in case.

Sentinal; What? You don't trust me to obey the accords?

Red Daniel; Well, you did arrange both of our deaths so that you could absorb us and gain our powers, so...

Breaker; Honestly, I trust Red more than I trust you. And that's saying a lot...

Sentinal shrugs.

Sentinal: Have it your way...

Another Daniel approaches he door. He has long green hair, and green eyes, and wears a green vest over his clothing. He awkwardly waves at the others.

Green Daniel; Um, hey guys. I, um, don't think we've met...

Red Daniel; I believe your identity is obvious. Hello, Green.

Green Daniel chuckles nervously.

Green Daniel; Golly. I guess it is pretty obvious, huh?

Breaker; Who says "Golly", anymore?

Red Daniel; Doesn't matter. Let's get started, shall we?

Meanwhile, at Sal's bar, Acelegin and Ghost Sans meet up with each other and enter.

Acelegin; Yo! Sal! Can I get a couple shots over here?

Ghost Sans; Yeah, the usual for me.

Sal; Sure thing. Have a seat and I'll be right with you.

Acelegin and Ghost Sans have a seat at the bar while Sal prepares two shot glasses. He poor a shot of whiskey for Acelegin and a shot of Heinz ketchup for Ghost Sans. He also poors Acelegin a glass of Diet Coke to serve as a chaser.

Acelegin; Thanks, Man.

Sal; No problem.

Acelegin and Ghost Sans lift their shot glasses.

Ghost Sans; Wait, how am I holding this? I'm intangible, right?

Acelegin; Dude, don't question it.

Ghost Sans; Okay. Cheers!

Acelegin; Cheers!

Acelegin and Sans both take their shots, and Acelegin immediately reaches for the soda to wash the taste out of his mouth.

Ghost Sans; Why do you take shots if you don't like the taste?

Acelegin; Gets a good buzz going pretty quickly. Can I get a beer and a couple steak sandwiches?

Sal; Coming right up.

Ghost Sans; So what's Red up to?

Acelegin; Doing poker with some other Daniel's.

Ghost Sans; You sure it's a good idea to have a bunch f Daniel's hanging out? Won't they ge at each other's throats?

Acelegin; Not as long as the DNA's in place.

Ghost Sans; What does DNA have to do with anything?

Acelegin; Not that kind of DNA. The Daniel Neutrality Accords. I made every Daniel sign it. Well, except the new guy. I'll need to have a talk with him. But as long as it's in place, every Daniel who signed will be forbidden from harming other Daniel's.

Ghost Sans; I feel like this would be a lot simpler if you stuck with one Daniel instead of creating a whole multiverse full of them.

Acelegin; Simplicity is boring. I like a little complication in my life. Besides, without the multiverse, Red Daniel wouldn't even exist. As much as he bugs me, he's still one of my favorite creations.

Ghost Sans; Is that so?

Acelegin; Do not tell him I said that!

Back at Acelegin's apartment

Red Daniel; So, I've got some snacks ready. I made some of Ace's bean dip, but I used a bit more jalapeno than he does.

Green Daniel; Gosh, I can' really handle spicy food. I think I'll just stick to the sour cream...

Breaker; How are we, in any way, the same person?

Sentinal; Let's just stat the game, shall we?

They all sit down at the table. Red Daniel distributes poker chips while Breaker shuffles the deck.

Green Daniel; So, um... read any good books, lately?

Sentinal; I don't read a whole lot. I think the last thing I read was a Kim Harrison novel...

Breaker; I read some old Presidential biographies recently. I found Lincoln's story pretty intriguing.

Red Daniel; You're into that kind of stuff?

Breaker; The president in my universe was a despot working for a Fear. It comforts me to know that some of our leaders were good people.

Green Daniel; What about you, Red?

Red Daniel; Well, I was reading a book by this Severin guy, but I ran into a pretty upsetting chapter, so I'm taking a bit of a break from it.

Breaker; Upsetting? For you? You're the most depraved person I know. You practically embody vice.

Green Daniel's eyes narrow briefly.

Red Daniel; Well, I have my triggers. Everyone does. It was just a moment in the book that shocked me more than I like. I'll get back to I eventually.

The game continues. Breaker and Sentinal's pile of chips gradually diminish, while Red Daniel's grows quite a bit, with Green Daniel close behind.

Green Daniel; Um, I have a quick question for Sentinal...

Sentinal; Alright. What is it?

Green Daniel; Why is your title spelled with an A? Shouldn't it be "Sentinel"?

Sentinal; I'm no mere Sentinel. I am the one true emissary of the Path of Chaos. The "A" in my tite is meant to denote the true significance of my ranking.

Red Daniel leans in and whispers in Green Daniel's ear.

Red Daniel; It's a typo that Ae decided to roll with.

Back at Sal's bar, Acelegin has become relatively drunk, and has finished off his sandwich.

Acelegin; Okay, Sal. One more beer, then I think I'll go home.

Sal; Sure. Give me just a minute.

Acelegin; A'ight.

Acelegin sits in silence for a minute, lost in thought.

Ghost Sans; You okay, man?

Acelegin; Yeah. Just.. stuff on my mind...

Ghost Sans; Think you've had enough?

Acelegin; I'm Irish and German. I've got a tolerance.

Sal returns with another drink for Acelegin.

Acelegin; Hey, Sal. Bit of a weird question, but have you ever read anything by Severin Albert?

Sal; Never heard of him.

Acelegin; What about you, Sans?

Ghost Sans; Can't say I have. Why?

Acelegin; Well... Red's been reading this book by him. And a few days ago, he just slammed the book shut and put it u on he shelf. He didn't say anything about it, but he seemed really shaken by something that was written in there.

Sal; Have you read it yourself?

Acelegin; No. I might sometime. But I'm kind of curios about the guy who wrote it. I haven't been able to find anything about him.

Sal shrugs.

Sal; Whatever's in that book, I'm sure it's nothing to serious.

Acelegin; Yeah. You're probably right.

Back at Acelegin's apartment, the game has nearly concluded. Breaker and Sentinal have both run out of chips, and are now spectating on the game between Red Daniel and Green Daniel, who have an almost equal amount of chips, with Green Daniel being only slightly below Red Daniel. Red Daniel pushes his pile of chips forward on the table.

Red Daniel; All in.

Green Daniel chuckles nervously.

Green Daniel; Golly, I guess I don't have a choice.

Green Daniel pushes his pile of chips forward ad well.

Green Daniel; All in.

Breaker distributes their new hands. Red Daniel takes a look at his cards, discards two of them, and draws two more from the deck. Green Daniel discards three cards and draws three more. They both take a moment to examine their hands.

Green Daniel; Two pair.

Green Daniel lays his cards on the table, revealing the two of spades and two of diamonds, the six of spades and six of clubs, as well as he king of clubs. Red Daniel examines them for a moment before laying his own cards down.

Red Daniel; Higher two pair.

Red Daniel's hand contains  Queen of diamonds, the four of hearts and four of spades, and the Jack of spades and Jack of diamonds.

Red Daniel; Jacks beat eight. I believe victory is mine.

Green Daniel; Gosh. You really beat me good there.

Red Daniel; And now you are all in my debt!

Breaker; Yeah, yeah, I'll get your money soon.

Sentinal; Pfft. Fine.

Green Daniel reaches a hand forward.

Green Daniel; I was a good game. I enjoy it.

Red Daniel looks down at Green Daniel's hand.

Red Daniel; Yeah, I'm not shaking that.

Green Daniel pulls his hand back.

Green Daniel; Fair enough.

Sentinal; I should get back to the path. I'll see you guys later.

Sentinal opens a rift and vanishes through it.

Red Daniel; I guess I'll see you two out, then.

Breaker; Sure thing. I need to get some housework done.

Red Daniel walks them both to the door. As hey leave, Acelegin arrives, and steps up to Breaker.

Acelegin; Hey, man. How you been.

Breaker; Not bad. I gotta go, but I'll see you around, right?

Acelegin; Sure thing.

Breaker leaves, and Green Daniel steps forward to introduce himself, raising a hand to shake with Acelegin.

Green Daniel; Golly! I sure is great to finally meet you, Ace!

Acelegin narrows his eyes a Green Daniel and remains silent. Green Daniel nervously lowers his hand.

Green Daniel; Right, so... I should be off now, but I'll talk to you later about the accords?

Acelegin remains silent.

Green Daniel; kay then... I guess I'll... go now...

Green Daniel leaves.

Red Daniel; God, that guy's a wuss.

Acelegin; I don't trust him.

Red Daniel; What?

Acelegin; I dunno. Just a feeling I got. There's something off about him.

Red Daniel; Pfft. What's off is that he's a pussy compared to the rest of us. Hell, I don't even think he'll need to sign the Accords. He's to pathetic to fuck with any of us.

Acelegin; Whatever. I'm going to bed.

Monday, January 22, 2018

Living With Red Daniel Part 4; The Burglar

Outside Sal's bar

Red Daniel; You good?

Acelegin; Hell yeah. We got this.

Red Daniel; You sound confident.

Acelegin; Yeah, well, we've got three other guys signed on, so I think we've got good odds.

Red Daniel; So when do I get to meet these gentlemen?

Acelegin; Well, Dank Memes should be showing up pretty soon...

Red Daniel; Wait, the same Dank Memes from your let's plays?

Acelegin; Yep.

Red Daniel; So wait, is it the one from your Heartache 101 playthrough, or the one from your Dream Daddy playthrough.

Red Daniel suddenly lightens up ecstatically

Red Daniel; Oh God! Please tell me it's the one from your Doki Doki Literature Club playthrough!

Acelegin; Red, they're all the same character...

Red Daniel; But... that doesn't make any sense... the timelines don't add up...

Acelegin; Red, if I say something is canon, it's canon. Don't question it.

A man approaches Acelegin and Red Daniel. He has shoulder length brown hair, glasses, and is dressed in a button-up cat themed shirt and a dark jacket.

Acelegin; Oh, there you are. Dank, this is Red Daniel. Red, this is Dank Memes.

Dank Memes; Hey! I've heard a lot about you.

Red Daniel; Likewise. So, you up for this stakeout?

Dank Memes; Yeah. So who else is showing up?

Acelegin; Oh, don't worry, they'll be here soon. My only concern is whether I'll be able to cook enough spaghetti for everyone afterwards.

Red Daniel; Oh God, don't bring up- !!!

Ghost Papyrus; Did somebody say SPAGHETTI!!!

Red Daniel; Oh God Damn it...

Dank Memes; Um, is that who I think it is?

Acelegin; Yes. Papyrus from Undertale. As a ghost.

Dank Memes; I have so many questions...

Acelegin; Well, save them for later. What we should be focused on right now is the fact that with him on our side, this burglar wont's stand...

Acelegin winks and gives a thumbs up.

Acelegin; ...a ghost of a chance!

Red Daniel; No, don't use puns!

Ghost Sans; Did somebody say "puns"?


Dank Memes; So would somebody mind explaining what the fuck is going on here?

Acelegin; Red completed a Genocide run a while back and now these two are haunting him.

Red Daniel; I just got rid of these guys last month! Why did you have to go and bring them back!

Acelegin; Dude, relax. A least this way, we've got an extra couple sets of eyes.

Ghost Papyrus; Extra eyes for what exactly?

Acelegin; Oh, someone's been stealing shit at Red's work, so we're staking he place out in case anyone suspicious comes by.

Ghost Sans points towards Sal's bar

Ghost Sans; Like that guy?

Everyone looks where Ghost Sans is pointing to see a man exiting the bar with a burlap sack in his hands. He is hunched over, glancing around rapidly. His eyes fall upon Red Daniel and he panics and takes off.

Red Daniel; Hey! Get back here, you fucker!

Red Daniel takes off after the burglar, while everyone else just stands around.

Dank Memes; Um... should we him?

Acelegin; Nah, Red's got this.

Dank Memes; Oh. So... were we really needed here?

Acelegin; In hindsight, I guess not.

Ghost Papyrus; Well, it was still nice being here.

Ghost Papyrus turns his attention to Dank Memes.

Ghost Papyrus; So what's you're name, human!?

Dank Memes; I'm Dank Memes. I'm a dating sim protagonist.

Ghost Papyrus; Neat!

Acelegin; Alright, you guys chill out here. I know Red can handle the burglar himself, but I should still be there to make sure he doesn't go too far.

Several blocks away, the burglar finds himself cornered in an alleyway. He turns to see Red Daniel approaching him.

Burglar; Don't come any closer!

Red Daniel's eyes begin glowing scarlet as he continues to slowly move toward the burglar. The burglar draws a gun and aims it at Red Daniel.

Burglar; I mean it! I'll shoot!

Red Daniel scowls and continues walking.

Burglar; S-stop!

Red Daniel stops a few feet away, glaring angrily at the man.

Red Daniel; Go on. Try it.

The burglar quivers, clearly intimidated. He raises the gun shakily and pulls the trigger. The bullet hits Red Daniel in the chest, but Red Daniel's blood hardens, stopping it.

Burglar; W-what?

Red Daniel wipes some of the blood off of his shirt and examines it.

Red Daniel; You know, I really don't like being blamed for shit. So all that stuff you've been stealing? I'm gonna need you to hand it over.

The burglar fires his gun again, this time hitting Red Daniel in the forehead. Red Daniel's head snaps back for a moment, but he recovers almost immediately and glares back at the burglar.

Red Daniel; Wanna go for a third one?

The Burglar steps back, trembling.

Red Daniel; No? Then I'll take a shot.

The drops of blood on Red Daniel's hand suddenly swell up and crystalize into a large, jagged spear, which flies at the burglar, grazing his arm and causing him to drop his gun. The burglar drops to his knees, crying out in pain.

Red Daniel; Making me bleed was a poor decision. As was stealing from my coworkers.

The Burglar looks up at Red Daniel, glaring. He reaches into his bag and draws out a chunk of frozen meat. Red Daniel's eyes widen and stop glowing.

Red Daniel; Is that...?

The burglar rises to his feet.

Burglar; I have a pound of frozen venison!

The Burglar reels back, preparing to throw it.

Burglar; And I'm not afraid to-

Acelegin suddenly appears behind the Burglar, grabbing his arm.

Acelegin; Okay, no.

With a sudden jerk, Acelegin breaks the burglar's arm. The burglar cries out in agony.

Acelegin; You can steal jewelry, food, or whatever else. I don't give a shit. But you do not. Steal. My fucking catchphrases!

Acelegin snatches the bag from the burglar and knocks him over.

Acelegin; Catch.

Acelegin tosses the bag to Red Daniel. Red Daniel looks inside of it.

Red Daniel; Looks like everything's in here.

Acelegin; That's stupidly convenient.

The burglar gets to his feet and flees. Red Daniel glares at him as he runs past.

Acelegin; You just gonna let him go?

Red Daniel; I've made my point to him. He won't fuck with me again.

Acelegin; So who was that?

Red Daniel; James Trevor. I've carded him before. I'll let Sal know to ban him.

Acelegin; So why do you think he stole all this crap?

Red Daniel; I think he's jealous of Sal's success and wanted to fuck with him.

Acelegin; Right. Let's get home. I'm tired.

Red Daniel; Sure. I can give all this stuff back in the morning.

Later, in a different alleyway, James Trevor sits against a wall, nursing his broken arm.

James; Damn it! That son of a...

James forcibly sets his arm, wincing in pain.

James; BITCH!

A man enters the alleyway.

James; Who the fuck are you!?

The man smiles calmly. He appears to be in his late 20s, with short, dark hair and blue eyes.

Stranger; Gute nacht, Herr Trevor.

James draws his gun, aiming at the stranger.

James; How the fuck do you know my name!?

The stranger calmly raises his hands.

Stranger; Calm yourself, mein friend. I mean you no harm. The opposite, actually.

James; The fuck are you talking about?

Stranger; You've walked down a dark path and suffered. I can help you though. I can show you a brighter path.

James lowers his gun a bit.

James; What do you mean?

Stranger; Come with me, mein friend. I will get you the help you need, and give you a new purpose.

The stranger offers James his hand, smiling.

Stranger; Charity...

Hey guys! Thanks for reading!

So, what should Dank Memes do next? Should he...

A) Go shopping

B) Hang out with Ghost Sans and Ghost Papyrus


C) Learn to walk tightrope

Leave your answer in the comments!