day 255
Axel; Hey Roxas, I bet you don't know why the sun sets red.
Roxas; I have a better question: why does this game start off in the middle?
Axel; Because confusing people gives the employees at Square Enix a hard on.
day 7
Xemnas; Hey Mathaxsan, guess what! I cloned a female version of Sora to help further the organizations plans! Isn't that awesome?
Zexion; (enters room) Hey Master Manse- I mean, Xemnas, I need to talk to you about my salar- Is that a cardboard cut-out of Mathaxsan?
Xemnas; Go away!
Acelegin; Behold! A parody of everyone's favorite Kingdom Hearts game!
Sa'i'x; Okay everyone, we have an important meeting today, so we need to go to the meeting chamber.
Luxord; Question!
Sa'i'x; Yes?
Luxord; Weren't you written out of the script?
Sa'i'x; I play an important role in this game, so Acelegin brought me back under house arrest.
Axel; Question!
Sa'i'x; *sigh*. Yes?
Axel; When will you be off house arrest?
Sa'i'x; Halfway through Kingdom Hearts 2.
Demyx; Question!
Sa'i'x; What!?
Demyx; Can my girlfriend come to the meeting?
Sa'i'x; No, Knives Chau cannot come. You know that outsiders aren't allowed to attend organization meetings.
Demyx; Aw, nuts.
Sa'i'x; Any other questions?
Vexen; (raises hand)
Sa'i'x; No, I cannot lift the ban on marijuana in the castle. Now come on, we have a meeting to attend.
Xemnas; Greetings, everyone. Allow me to introduce the new kid, Xion.
Larxene; Does this mean I'm not the new one anymore?
Axel; You stopped being the new one when Roxas showed up.
Larxene; When did he get here?
Marluxia; A week ago.
Larxene; Where was I when this happened?
Xaldin; In the bedroom with Zexion. That's my guess.
Xemnas; Come to think of it, both of you were absent during that meeting.
Zexion; I plead the fifth!
day 8
Sa'i'x; Roxas, I'm sending you on your first mission today. Axel will go with you.
later
Axel; Okay, we need to find a treasure chest.
Roxas; Is this it?
Axel; Alright! time to open it!.
Roxas; I think it's locked.
Axel; Don't worry, I can totally pick this thing using Larxene's hairpins.
Roxas; Why do you have Larxene's hairpins?
Axel; Uuuummmmm..... She... gave them to me...
Roxas; What?
Axel; Forget it. I'm having some trouble here. I should have watched an instructional video on youtube before I tried to pick this lock.
Roxas; My keyblade might work.
Axel; Good idea, let's try that.
later
Axel; That was a good mission. How's your ice cream?
Roxas; It's salty...
Axel; I wonder whose chest that was.
Roxas; Why is it salty?
Axel; I bet they'll be pissed when they find out we stole their potion.
Roxas; Axel, I'm pretty sure ice cream isn't supposed to taste salty.
day 9
Marluxia; Hey, Larxene. Wanna take over the organization?
Larxene; Sure, as long as Xaldin is the first to die.
Sa'i'x; Marluxia, I'm teaming you up with Roxas. Teach him to fight.
later
Marluxia; And that's he difference between Playboy and Brazzers.
Roxas; Aren't you supposed to be teaching me the difference between pureblood heartless and emblem heartless?
Marluxia; Yeah, I don't care.
day 10
Zexion; Okay, you and I are together today, and I have some important advice for you.
Roxas; Really! Where's it from, Germany? I don't know why, but I like Germany.
Zexion; I said "important", not "imported".
Roxas; oh.
Zexion; Whatever you do, Always do the minimum amount of work you can possibly get away with.
Roxas; But won't I get a bonus for doing extra credit?
Zexion; Trust me, it's not worth it.
day 11
Larxene; Today, I'm gonna teach you magic. Go ahead, try using fire.
Roxas; Okay. (casts fire)
Larxene; Damn it! Don't aim at me! Now I'm gonna need new robes.
Roxas; Hehe, panties.
Larxene; What?
Roxas; Nothing!
Acelegin; See, Sora and Roxas do have something in common.
day 12
Vexen; It's now time for you to learn about recon. But first, we're gonna smoke dis joint!
10 minutes later
Roxas; Whoa, check out this sign.
Vexen; Yeah, this is definitely a peculiar sign.
Roxas; It's so octagonal.
Vexen; And it has those weird letters on it. S-T-O-P.
Roxas; Should we put this sign in our report?
Vexen; Yeah, Xemnas totally needs to know about this sign.
day 13
Roxas; So what are we doing today, Lexeaus?
Lexeaus; Bitch slap!
Roxas; Ouch! What was that for!?
Lexeaus; You see, when your health is in the yellow zone, you can perform a special move called a limit break.
Roxas; But my health is still in the green.
Lexeaus; Oh, okay. (slaps Roxas again)
Roxas; Ouch! Okay, that's enough! Geez, I'll do the f@&king limit break.
meanwhile
Pence; Oh, man! Some one broke into my chest! I needed that potion to cure my sick mother. Damn it!
And now, I leave you with some nightcore;
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